news site RSS Email Alerts


[Comedy] copaganda

portraying police in a positive or helpful light, when in reality they are the violent fascist tools of an authoritarian military state

“That show is all copaganda. No such thing as a good cop.”

Published:6/5/2020 2:25:52 AM
[Comedy] @Fred_Delicious soup was invented in 1927 by John Soup when he wanted to drink a chicken Published:6/4/2020 4:21:31 AM
[Comedy] @local__celeb if im going on a date i think regardless of gender, the other person should pay. this is rooted in the fact that i don’t want to pay Published:6/4/2020 3:49:32 AM
[Comedy] FDT

Fuck Donald Trump

FDT he's the most ignorant racist person ever

Published:6/4/2020 2:18:41 AM
[Comedy] OK Bootlicker

This is what you say to someone when they talk about how much they love police

Bootlicker: OMG! Don't say fuck the police, police put their lives on the line every day!
Normal Person: OK Bootlicker

Published:6/3/2020 2:21:53 AM
[Comedy] 1312

1312 means "All Cops Are Bastards". The numbers represent the alphabetical letters ACAB.

1312 is often found on t-shirts.

Published:6/2/2020 2:07:28 AM
[Comedy] Riot

The thing you start when you feel so angry, so ripped off, so stepped on.

Greece in it's current state, is full of riots

Published:6/1/2020 2:51:53 AM
[Comedy] F.T.P.

F.T.P. is the acronym for the term "Fuck Tha Police" which was actually coin in the year 1988 by the late, great, American rap artist...Mr. Eazy-E! (RIP)

Fuck Tha Police or F.T.P. is a song by rap group NWA that was written in 1988! "In the case of NWA vs. The Police Department.....Fuck Tha Police!"

Published:5/31/2020 2:21:54 AM
[Comedy] acab

all cops are bastards. this trend has started in a attempt for people to see how unfair the black community is treated in the eyes of the law.

R.I.P trayvon #acab

Published:5/30/2020 2:16:55 AM
[Comedy] @ben_rosen zoom needs a button that plays wrap it up music like at the oscars Published:5/29/2020 9:12:08 AM
[Comedy] Don’t let ‘Justice League’ fool you — Henry Cavill is still the best Superman option out there Cavill is reportedly in talks to return as Superman. Published:5/29/2020 9:12:08 AM
[Comedy] Fuck 12

Fuck 12 really just means fuck the police.

Daquan - Dude don't spray paint the bridge! You're gonna get arrested again!
Mikel- Man, Fuck 12.

Published:5/29/2020 2:08:51 AM
[Comedy] 12

The Police. Any law enforcement agent. See also "PO-PO" and "ONE-TIME."

Shouting "TWELVE" when the cops are spotted approaching the scene of some illegal activity.

Published:5/28/2020 3:02:25 AM
[Comedy] Cartoons are skewering Trump’s golfing against the backdrop of covid-19 deaths Some cartoonists mashed up Trump and Sunday's New York Times front page. Published:5/27/2020 11:14:27 AM
[Comedy] bout’ to get western

Often used to in a way to say oh shits about to go down but for mainly country people.

You will often say it when or if cattle gets lose so you would use the term bout’ to get western to explain shits getting crazy.

Or you could also use it if you at a nascar race and a car flips you would say it’s bout’ to get western

Bubba just got kicked at the gate and now the cattle are shits bout’ to get western

Published:5/27/2020 2:10:40 AM
[Comedy] @lawrenrae_ Bugs have so much outside, why are they so pressed to come inside?? Published:5/26/2020 10:35:34 AM
[Comedy] @jonnysun if your dog is over 8 years old (56 in dog years) then your dog is a boomer, sorry Published:5/24/2020 4:54:17 AM
[Comedy] You can get it

Is the phrase used mainly in south florida to describe the sexual appeal of a person, "you can get it" is meant in the sense that the person (who can get it) is sexually appealing enough to the person making the statement, that at any point in time, the person can get "it" meaning sex.

"Hey wussup Maria?"

"Hey Dre, whats up?"
"I just thought I'd let you know.....YOU CAN GET IT!!!!!"

Published:5/24/2020 2:22:35 AM
[Comedy] ok den what

An accurate way to respond to anything... must be said in a low pitched voice

“Shit dude somebody just robbed my house”
“Ok den what”

Published:5/23/2020 2:14:57 AM
[Comedy] Doomer

A lack of faith in humanity, or people in general.

Giving up on all humans, or groups of people, for perceived slights or injustices committed by a few.

Lacking confidence in the future of humans because of an event, directly affecting their life or not, despite any positive response that happened.

Note: This is not limited to any particular political group, affiliation or generation.

Doomer: I just lost faith in humanity because someone hit a child walking down the street and just drove off. Nevermind the dozen people that stopped to check on them, and that called the police while doing everything they could to help the person in need. That one human who hit them makes everyone bad in my eyes.

Normal people: Ok doomer.

Published:5/21/2020 2:29:08 AM
[Comedy] @shutupmikeginn Just took an online IQ test and my score starts with an 7 but I have to pay $100 to see the second digit. Time to find out if I’m a genius! Published:5/20/2020 3:57:02 AM
[Comedy] @floozyesq you're telling me a random house published this book? Published:5/20/2020 3:22:57 AM
[Comedy] nerd-snipe

To provide a problem so interesting and difficult that the target is compelled to cease whatever they are doing (eating, reading, walking) in order to think about it.

Most effective on math professors, science majors, and similar.

Term coined by Randall Munroe, author of the webcomic XKCD.

"I started thinking about the effective resistance of an infinite network of resistors, but then I realized I had self-nerd-sniped."

"My friend totally nerd-sniped me! He suggested this problem and next thing I knew I was late to class!"

Published:5/20/2020 2:22:54 AM
[Comedy] ‘Arcade Spirits’: The video game equivalent of a beach read “Arcade Spirits” will elicit some warm fuzzies for those who carry fond memories of basking in the backlit glow of arcade machines. Published:5/19/2020 11:23:09 AM
[Comedy] Boomer holes

When you move into a house previously owned by a boomer, and the floors have holes for cable TV wires, the wall has a phone jack for a landline, etc.

We should get some posters and paintings to cover up all these boomer holes.

Published:5/19/2020 2:22:22 AM
[Comedy] @AlanaMassey Woke up to the memory of a time in college when a very proper, VERY English friend was trying to recall the name of a character in a children’s show. “The green one, you know?Disagreeable, quite shouty? Lives in the rubbish.” She meant Oscar the Grouch. Published:5/18/2020 6:09:58 AM
[Comedy] Gabagool

A spicy Italian sausage. Tony wants it but can't have it.

Tony: Who ate all the gabagool?
Wife: No more gabagool for you, the doctor said it's bad for you.
Tony: I don't give a f...!!!

Published:5/18/2020 6:09:57 AM
[Comedy] Shift F7

A phrase to use when you lack an adjective in your conversation.
Derived from the shortcut key for the thesaurus in a microsoft word document.

person 1: and thats what temporal summation is...
person 2: ok i get the meaning but put it into context its just so..... shift F7

The book itself was an anecdotal account of the trials and tribulations of the dpression. Harsh, Oblique, Shift F7 and somewhat beautiful in its portrayal.

Published:5/15/2020 2:16:50 AM
[Comedy] paypig

In the realm of BDSM, a paypig is a submissive, almost always male, who has consented to financial servitude towards his Mistress. Term used in a derogatory/humiliating light, usually by Mistresses.

My paypig bought me a $500 pair of heels today after I demanded him to.

Published:5/14/2020 2:16:14 AM
[Comedy] @meganamram I used 6,000 N95 masks to spell out "THANK U HEROES!!!!!" on the beach then lit them on fire so nurses all over the world could see ?? Published:5/13/2020 7:34:58 AM
[Comedy] Foodie call

A person who goes out on dates with the sole purpose of getting a free dinner.

I'm going out with Julie tonight.
It's a foodie call, dude, she's got a boyfriend.

Published:5/13/2020 4:35:11 AM
[Comedy] ‘Streets of Rage 4’: Polished, old-school, beat-‘em-up action “Streets of Rage 4” is the video game equivalent of comfort food. Published:5/12/2020 9:21:12 AM
[Comedy] fielding season

The opposite of cuffing season.
From late May to early September during which people like to keep it cool and play the field.

What happened to your boyfriend?
Bitchhhh it's fielding season!!

Published:5/12/2020 9:21:12 AM
[Comedy] coask

A.k.a. "co-ask". It's a frequent word on Chinese forums, which is usually used individually to express that one's question is the same as the former questioner's.

- What's the meaning of "niubility"?
- Coask.

Published:5/11/2020 2:27:37 AM
[Comedy] thirstposting

Posting on social media simply to get likes and reacts.

Bitches be thirstposting.

Published:5/10/2020 6:47:52 PM
[Comedy] hydt

How You Do That

" lil mama How You Do That ? " ~ OHNO - HYDT'

Published:5/9/2020 12:45:07 PM
[Comedy] @HonestToddler If you have three kids that’s four people you have to keep hydrated that’s crazy Published:5/8/2020 11:30:53 AM
[Comedy] Schrodingers asshole

A person who decides whether or not they're full of shit by the reactions of those around them.

"That guy who posted ____ but said he was just trolling when no one agreed with him is totally a Schrodingers Asshole"

Published:5/8/2020 2:28:38 AM
[Comedy] ball and socket

A ball and socket occurs when one bro goes in for the fist and the reciprocating bro acts as if he is gona bump too, but instead grabs the bros fist and shakes in a pivoting motion making for an awkward moment. Thus the ball and socket has been created.

Bro 1: Fuck yea! (Goes for the fist bump)

Bro 2: (secretly going in for the bro move with alterior motives, and grabs the fist and shakes)

Bro 1: awe shit man the ol' Ball and Socket!

Published:5/7/2020 2:24:11 AM
[Comedy] @PleaseBeGneiss Pineapples went way hard. Knives on top. Shark teeth around the sides. Once you get inside you think you’ve won until the juice starts eating your fuckin tongue. Absolutely metal. Published:5/6/2020 5:20:48 AM
[Comedy] cowboyitis



An intentional lack of regard for danger or negative consequences to strategically help yourself. Using cowboyitis is a cunning tactic to provide self gain.

Sales Work Environment:

Client is avoiding purchase a product

James (sales rep): Why is it you do not want to buy this product?

Clay (customer): Cuz' man, this is expensive

James (now irritated after working with this client for 30 mins): Look man, this is the best of the best and there is no other place you can get this product. You either purchase it today or walk away and feel unsatisfied every time you look at women.

Clay (shocked but not offended): Ok you have a point, I'm not going to wait to make this purchase anymore. Ring me up

James completes the order and walks to Melissa, his sales manager.

Melissa: Give me a high five James, Great Job. That was pure Cowboyitis! Did not know you had that quality.

Published:5/6/2020 2:23:54 AM
[Comedy] We’d like to see the artwork you’re creating during the coronavirus crisis Submit your visual art here. We'll publish some of the submissions. Published:5/5/2020 10:46:37 PM
[Comedy] How ‘The Clone Wars’ turned Ahsoka Tano into a legendary Star Wars character "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" is coming to an end on Disney Plus, but voice actress Ashley Eckstein helped assure that Ahsoka will live on. Published:5/5/2020 3:31:16 AM
[Comedy] on the tether

On house arrest, usually with a tracking device around one's ankle. Like a horse tethered to a post; you can't go anywhere.

Nah, man, you gotta come over to chill. You know they got me on the tether n' shit!

Published:5/5/2020 3:31:16 AM
[Comedy] dead cat bounce

Investor slang; a brief recovery in the price of a falling stock. Term is derived from the idea that "even a dead cat will bounce if it falls from a great height."

I tried to buy GX on the dead cat bounce but got burned.

Published:5/3/2020 2:25:32 AM
[Comedy] @ameliaelizalde just got dumped and my roommate is trying to make me feel better by playing cards with me but she just keeps winning and whispering “sorry” Published:5/2/2020 10:55:20 AM
[Comedy] downshifters

People who had a good professional job and (usually) a house which had significantly increased in value - but then they realised that by selling the house and moving to another (usually rural, far cheaper) area of the country, they could 'downshift' their lives and yet still have a small fortune in the bank + less stress, less work, more time with the family, more money.

See also: downshifting.

I know a couple who downshifted from their £2.1m house in London. She was in teaching, he was an accountant. Now they run a great little art gallery during the summer in the wilds of the Derbyshire Peak District, and just make art and teach their kids for most of the year."

Published:5/2/2020 2:18:54 AM
[Comedy] ‘Paper Beast’: A truly great PlayStation VR game Don’t be surprised to see the visionary "Paper Beast" on the year’s best list. Published:5/1/2020 12:46:05 PM
[Comedy] New normal

The current state of being after some dramatic change has transpired. What replaces the expected, usual, typical state after an event occurs. The new normal encourages one to deal with current situations rather than lamenting what could have been.

Housing costs plummeting is the new normal.

Having less discretionary income after the stock market crash is the new normal.
She expected to be saddened by his departure and accepted her feelings as the new normal.
Spending less on entertainment is the new normal during economic downturns.
Now that the baby was born, having less free time was the new normal for the new parents.

Published:5/1/2020 2:14:56 AM
[Comedy] shineboxing

1. The act of insulting someone via a reference to an embarrassing event in their past. The term was popularized by a scene in "Goodfellas" in which Billy Batts admonishes Tommy DeVito for his subservient childhood job by exclaiming "go home and get your f**kin shinebox."
2. Attacking someone for previous shameful actions, giving the impression said acts are indelible.

Mike opted to avoid attending his high school reunion, knowing they'd remember his loss of bladder control in gym class and be shineboxing him all night.

Published:4/30/2020 2:37:22 AM
[Comedy] @nedwards PRIEST: it do be like that sometimes CONGREGATION: like that sometimes it be Published:4/29/2020 10:02:48 AM
[Comedy] Cuomosexual

In love with competent, reassuring governance by a leader who uses complete sentences and displays common sense during a pandemic.

After watching today's New York State pandemic news conference, I officially identify as a cuomosexual. (
h/t Randy Rainbow)

Published:4/29/2020 2:06:20 AM
[Comedy] @jillboard [every recipe] This dish is SUPER EASY to make! - 1,000 spices you don’t own - 2 quarts. u know what a quart is? - you’ve never heard of this item in your life. google it bitch. - cookware even your parents don’t have - no not that kind of flour - good luck finding eggs - eggs Published:4/28/2020 8:28:57 AM
[Comedy] national drop fake friends day

A day on April 28th, where you tell all your fake friends you don't want to be friends with them, because, their fake.

"Hey Marcus, It's national drop fake friends day so be gone thot"

Published:4/28/2020 8:28:57 AM
[Comedy] Maskhole

Assholes who don’t wear masks publicly during the Coronavirus/COVID 19 Pandemic. Especially common in NYC and usually of a certain perceived privaledge and political party(GOP).

That fucking MASKHOLE rolled up behind us like a Stealth Bomber as we were getting off the ferry on 34th street. Running and coughing, spreading that Rona all over the back of our necks. Not a mask or bandana in sight!

Published:4/27/2020 1:16:27 PM
[Comedy] ‘The Clone Wars’ proves yet again that Darth Maul is the most tragic Star Wars character Darth Maul could have saved the galaxy in 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars," and lived on in the movies. Neither happened. Published:4/27/2020 1:16:27 PM
[Comedy] nah bitch

What you say to someone when you agitated and they say something stupid.

Homie: Bruh let's go down to the club and get some booty for the night

You: I ain't feelin it cuz

Homie: Nigga You never feelin anything c'mon

You: Nah bitch

Published:4/26/2020 2:13:44 AM
[Comedy] take several seats

When someone is doin' too much (or trying to hard) and just need to sit down somewhere and be quiet because they sound stupid.

Becky: *puts relaxer in her hair*
Becky: *is now bald*
Becky: I just wanted my hair to be straight
...Take several seats

Published:4/25/2020 2:44:04 AM
[Comedy] @donni Things will be fine, eventually, in thousands of years, for rocks Published:4/24/2020 7:31:40 AM
[Comedy] /s

Indicates the presence of sarcasm.

Man, I wish George Bush could take another 4 years, especially after his work on torture- who'd have thought such a fair and moral decision could have been made?


Published:4/24/2020 2:30:02 AM
[Comedy] ‘The Incredibles’ director Brad Bird picks what to watch in isolation Here's how the new Turner Classic Movies "Essentials" guest — the man behind "The Incredibles" and "Ratatouille" — has been influenced by Hitchcock, '50s sci-fi and James Bond. Published:4/23/2020 5:32:50 AM
[Comedy] Half Sender

Someone who does not commit to a full send for the boys and are generally pussies when it comes to some savage shit.

Don't trust that nigga eddy, he's a fucking half sender.

Published:4/23/2020 2:24:49 AM
[Comedy] @VeryFineHat Hey sharks I won’t take up too much of your time, my idea is baby carrots that aren’t soaking wet Published:4/22/2020 1:00:07 PM
[Comedy] Covid-38

A person who has been unlucky enough to contract the covid-19 virus twice.

Dude 1. I feel like shit. This is the second time I've contracted the coronavirus.

Dude 2. I feel for you bro. It's tough being a covid-38.

Published:4/22/2020 1:00:07 PM
[Comedy] doffing

Taking off clothes, equipment, etc.

Practice donning and doffing your equipment.

Published:4/21/2020 5:39:45 PM
[Comedy] coronabrain

Basically when you lose your shit because of coronavirus induced panic and can't maintain a sense of focus due to constantly overwhelming circumstances.

Tony can't remember shit these days with covid-19 and all, he forgets what he's doing in the middle of the task, they say he got a coronabrain.

Published:4/20/2020 12:38:32 PM
[Comedy] Newspaper comics hardly ever feature black women as artists. But two new voices have arrived. Steenz and Bianca Xunise have entered a field that has long overlooked the voices of African American women. Published:4/20/2020 12:38:32 PM
[Comedy] im baby

being soft, adorable, sweet, and small; generally having a kind and soft nature

“im baby”

Published:4/19/2020 2:28:36 AM
[Comedy] @jnthnwll told a group of teens that when I was their age we had to pay 10 cents per text message and now they think I’m a liar Published:4/18/2020 9:49:10 AM
[Comedy] deck chairs

Aimlessly and hopelessly attempting to achieve a goal that is already lost.

Derives meaning from the phrase, "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic."

"Mike is clearly going to fail his Criminal Law final. His studying is nothing but deck chairs."

Published:4/18/2020 2:15:14 AM
[Comedy] ETTD

Everything Trump Touches Dies

Bannon is next to join the ETTD team

Published:4/17/2020 2:12:02 AM
[Comedy] fiddle while rome burns

To enjoy minor unimportant things while ignoring the crisis happening right now

Trump dancing to Sinatra while people rioted was like Nero playing a fiddle while rome burns.

Published:4/16/2020 2:34:11 AM
[Comedy] Unchartered

Commonly misused in place of the word "uncharted" meaning unknown or unfamiliar. Thought to be derived from the idea that chartered vehicles only travel on known paths.

With this girl, everything below the waist was unchartered territory

Published:4/15/2020 2:25:48 AM
[Comedy] vibe check

A process by which a group or individual obtains a subjective assessment of the mental and emotional state of another person, place or thing. Not anchored in or limited to science, psychology or sociology. Grounded in a belief in pachouli, sage, or karma and sometimes veggie burgers.

Kyle dropped by the veggie drum jam to perform a vibe check. After application of fine high mountain sage, the vibes improved drastically. the evening commenced in a very mellow direction.

Published:4/14/2020 2:20:56 AM
[Comedy] @karencheee People say committees don’t work but that’s bc they haven’t seen a group of women gather to help one person draft & send a risky text Published:4/13/2020 8:46:32 AM
[Comedy] National Kiss Your Homies Day

On the day of April 13th, it is customary to kiss your homies to show them you love them.

You: Ay fam, it’s National Kiss Your Homies Day.
Your Homie: Say less.
*You and your homie kiss to celebrate*

Published:4/13/2020 2:14:44 AM
[Comedy] blerg

Most commonly used in the same context as "oh, damn". Used to express frustration, anxiety, depression, etc. Ocasionally the second syllable is prolonged to demonstrate any emotion in an extreme fashion.

As an exclamation on it's own: Instead of "I can't believe I'm so stupid!", just use "Blerg!"

Published:4/12/2020 11:43:24 AM
[Comedy] g pack

Slang term denoting 50 half gram vials of cut heroin, worth $1000 wholesale, or ~$20 each depending on purity and market demands.

When Cutty left prison, Barksdale lured him back in the drug game with a "g pack" instead of money as a welcome home present.

Published:4/11/2020 4:26:09 PM
[Comedy] ‘Girl With a Purell Earring’: How artists are tweaking famous paintings for our coronavirus era Artists are creating social-distancing versions of Vermeer, da Vinci, Michelangelo and more. Published:4/11/2020 4:26:09 PM
[Comedy] @father imagine getting away wit a murder 20 yrs ago then some asshole drops a doc on netflix bringin it back up Published:4/10/2020 8:01:30 AM
[Comedy] slam-clicker

People who upon checking into a hotel with others remain in their rooms instead of socializing. Used by airline crew to describe those who don't go out.

Slam - as in closing the door
Click - as in locking it immediately

also see: Olymic Flames

Flight attendant: "We arrived in London and were ready to party, unfortunately many in our crew were 'slam-clickers' and we never saw them."

Published:4/10/2020 2:28:42 AM
[Comedy] big z pack

1000 xanax bars commonly used in central arkansas for phone conversations

hey buddy can i get a big z pack

Published:4/9/2020 2:19:59 AM
[Comedy] @mela_shea Yogurt (yoghurt, yogourt, yoghourt) is the Megan (Meghan, Meagan, Meaghan) of fermented milks. Published:4/8/2020 5:16:34 AM
[Comedy] BLUF

An acronym for "Bottom Line Up Front" that is frequently used in informal military correspondence and internal/informal corporate e-mails to cover the main points of an e-mail so the reader can quickly understand what the e-mail is saying before reading the whole, lengthy e-mail.

Team, is a great resource for employees to look up slang expressions customers use

(Paragraph 1-Point #1 on why is so awesome)

(Paragraph 2-Point #2 on why is so awesome)

(Paragraph 3-Point #3 on why is so awesome)

Very Respectfully,

Published:4/8/2020 2:19:06 AM
[Comedy] Audiothelioma

Cancer caused by the noise generated by windmills. This aggressive form of cancer was recently discovered by Dr. Donald J Trump. Symptoms include: Orange skin, thin hair, small hands, a fear of brown people and small inclines.

I tell ya what all this time spent out on the prairie, it's only a matter of time before I develop Audiothelioma. Hopefully Dr. Trump's research will end in a cure.

Published:4/7/2020 2:13:16 AM
[Comedy] hydroxy moron

One who preaches the miracle nature of hydroxychloroquine sulfate that has nothing to do with the business degree they hold or the virus they're trying to cure.

Donald Trump, the proud holder of a store-bought degree in business from Wharton School of Business, waded in to the COVIC-19 discussion by suggesting hydroxychloroquine sulfate might be a miracle intervention with absolutely no foundation, making him, in medical vernacular, earning the title "hydroxy moron".

Published:4/6/2020 2:04:15 AM
[Comedy] chonk

that which is fat or large, in a way that is majestic

"You have been visited by the chonk. He will bring good fortune."

Published:4/5/2020 2:29:02 AM
[Comedy] Social distancing zombies

In order to maintain a safe distance from others, people were conditioned to raise their arms in front of them. When everyone shuffled around with their arms raised in front of them, the advised level of social distancing was maintained. In lockdown, only a few social distancing zombies were out and about.

I took my handkerchief out to blow my nose and the social distancing zombies scattered.

Published:4/4/2020 2:22:47 AM
[Comedy] ‘Half-Life: Alyx’: The most exhilarating VR adventure game to date "Half Life: Alyx" will transport you to an incredibly vivid science fiction world. Published:4/3/2020 10:17:55 AM
[Comedy] @PhilanthropyGal The longer your happy anniversary caption is the worse I know things are going. Published:4/3/2020 3:44:27 AM
[Comedy] antisocial nearing

The opposite of social distancing.

In a pandemic when people ignore the advice of social distancing and instead engage in antisocial nearing activities like shaking hands, hugging, and spending time in large crowds.

That coughing, sniffling, lunatic went in for a full-on antisocial nearing hug when the CDC says we should be practicing social distancing.

The President of the United States for weeks encouraged antisocial-nearing, telling everyone not to worry because the pandemic was under control and might just disappear.

Published:4/3/2020 2:13:46 AM
[Comedy] Economic Stockholm Syndrome

The behavior and attitudes exhibited by victims of financial subjugation, causing then to identify with and even defend their oppressors.

Q: Hey, what's up with Matt? His Dad is on social security, his mom got laid off, his sister's kids get free school lunches, he collects federal financial aid for college, and he only makes minimum wage working at Walmarts. Yet he keeps talking about how we need to cut taxes for the wealthy and quit spending so much on social programs.
A: Yeah, he thinks he's going to be a millionaire soon. He's got Economic Stockholm Syndrome.

Published:4/2/2020 2:07:59 AM
[Comedy] @ginnyhogan_ My new sexual fantasy is a second person Published:4/1/2020 7:33:27 AM
[Comedy] late capitalism

The advanced stage of unmanaged capitalism in which corporations and the wealthy, having run out of quick and easy paths to profit and economic growth, begin cannibalizing the societies in which they operate instead of investing in them.

Features: Declining wages for workers, privatization of government, dismantling of social services, sale of cultural & national heritage, debtor's prisons, corporate invasion of people's personal lives, and punishment (and ultimately enslavement) of the poor.

A: Did you hear that Zuckerberg is tearing down the national park to build his new fortified megamansion?
B: Yeah dude, wanna go to the Pepsi™-sponsored protest against it later?
A: Truly, late capitalism is the best system to live under.

A: Did you know that boomers can now spend $8,000 to get transfusions of children's blood so they live longer?
B: Haha, late capitalism strikes again!

Published:4/1/2020 2:05:05 AM
[Comedy] Physical Distancing

Formerly known as social distancing. The act of connecting, caring, communicating, and socializing with others while keeping space between bodies and following the World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines for good health during the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic.

No, dude. I’m not gonna shake your hand, I’m practicing physical distancing. Please take a step back and give me a call later.

The term Physical Distancing was suggested by therapist and author Jennifer Hamady, in an article for Psychology Today on March 19, 2020. The World Health Organization then shifted to using the phrase physical distancing rather than social distancing.

Published:3/31/2020 2:38:03 AM
[Comedy] The New Yorker cover and political cartoons are saluting coronavirus responders as heroes Mike Luckovich's popular Iwo Jima cartoon is also celebrating those on the front lines of the fight against covid-19. Published:3/30/2020 2:53:34 PM
[Comedy] Coronalingus

Sex during the Coronavirus time of social distancing.

My fiancé and I are practicing social distancing by ordering take-out and engaging in coronalingus.

Published:3/30/2020 2:22:08 AM
[Comedy] Grim Milestone

A phrase commonly used by in the mainstream media to denote the quantity of an undesirable occurance reaching a multiple of ten.

Casualties in Iraq have reached a grim milestone - 10/100/1000 in the 10/100/1000 days since the overthrow of Saddam.

Published:3/29/2020 2:13:40 AM
[Comedy] MAGAts

Donald Trump loyalists

MAGAts will defend their hero Trump regardless of the damage it does to American democracy .

Published:3/28/2020 2:07:47 AM
[Comedy] @Kendragarden One thing I’ve learned so far in quarantine is that my husband refuses to microwave anything for 45 seconds, he always does 44. When I asked him why, he said, “For Obama.” Published:3/27/2020 7:13:04 PM
[Comedy] upperwear

Upperwear is the wardrobe you create when you work on line or on TV and are only 'seen' from the waist up.

During video calls and meetings she wore professional looking Upperwear, such as blazers with pearls, while at the same wearing jogging pants.

Published:3/27/2020 12:34:35 PM
[Comedy] ‘Steven Universe’ creator says farewell, knowing her show made young LGBTQ viewers feel seen Rebecca Sugar's hit series "Steven Universe" changed the Cartoon Network's policy on same-sex marriage in kids' shows. Published:3/27/2020 12:34:35 PM
[Comedy] Prepper

A person who is prepared, or striving to be prepared for incident, natural disaster, etc

A person actively preparing or being prepared for situations that may affect the stability of home, life, or financial situation.

Also known as survivalists, doomsday preppers (derogatory)

Jim and his wife have canned a lot of food this summer. They will be prepared this winter!

Carrie is a good prepper. She has a 72 hour bag for each of her family members.

Published:3/26/2020 5:18:23 PM
[Comedy] Say I won't

Verbally challenging back to your friends to give you added courage to do something that may be stupid or out of the norm.

Jim - "Man, you are not going to ask that fatty to dance are you?"

Bob - "Say I won't!"

Published:3/25/2020 2:20:22 AM
[Comedy] Stonks

A meme used to describe a retarded economic decision. It is commonly followed with a picture of Meme man standing behind a picture of a stock market with the caption "stonks".

Me: Trades 100 wood for 1 emerald

My friend: Stonks

Published:3/24/2020 2:13:28 AM
[Comedy] ’Doom Eternal’ is crushingly hard and blisteringly engaging “Doom Eternal” is a challenging, engaging shooter that caters to one’s predatorial impulses. It will keep you on your toes. Published:3/23/2020 10:09:16 AM
[Comedy] Covidiot

Relating to the 2020 Covid-19 virus:
Someone who ignores the warnings regarding public health or safety.
A person who hoards goods, denying them from their neighbors.

Did you see that covidiot with 300 rolls of toilet paper in his basket?
That covidiot is hugging everyone she sees.

Published:3/23/2020 2:39:38 AM
[Comedy] @chrissyteigen [scattered applause] is the saddest closed captioning on a comedy special Published:3/22/2020 9:32:25 AM
[Comedy] @AndrewChamings accidentally opened my eyes during prayer at church and saw jesus doing the worm Published:3/22/2020 9:02:35 AM
[Comedy] Coronic

A person who has contracted coronavirus.

Is Karen coming in today? Unfortunately not - she's coronic, I think she got coroned last week on the way to work.

Published:3/22/2020 2:32:19 AM
[Comedy] Hand Sanitizer

The most expensive thing during the corona virus

Damn that hand sanitizer is expensive

Published:3/21/2020 2:25:12 AM
[Comedy] @felicityward Hangman is a lovely childhood game where you slowly draw a man killing himself if another kid can’t read your mind. Published:3/20/2020 10:50:56 AM
[Comedy] Cockwomble

A completely useless person that spouts constant bullshit

That Andrew is such a Cockwomble

Published:3/20/2020 2:18:41 AM
[Comedy] the rona

the correct term for the Coronavirus

dangggg alyssa just got diagnosed with the rona

Published:3/19/2020 2:12:15 AM
[Comedy] How the world’s political artists are depicting the covid-19 pandemic Symbolism, face masks and the Grim Reaper abound. Published:3/18/2020 7:10:07 AM
[Comedy] coronacopia

The growing volume of people and places that can give you the corona virus. Handshakes, desk surfaces, door handles, sneezes...

On the way home from {work} today I had to avoid a whole coronacopia of disease... does my forehead feel warm to you?

Published:3/18/2020 2:14:10 AM
[Comedy] Beer bug

Corona virus, a disease originating in China which shares the same name as a shitty Mexican beer.

Chad caught the beer bug so has to self-isolate for 14 days at home.

Published:3/17/2020 2:08:42 AM
[Comedy] @MavenofHonor A hundred years ago instead of reading this you would’ve been lying in a feather bed hoping no one discovers the hillside where you pick wild strawberries Published:3/16/2020 8:55:58 AM
[Comedy] coronaphobia

The fear of catching the current strain (COVID-19 in March 2020) of human coronavirus, expressed by wearing a face mask in public, or simply avoiding public places, public events and public transport.

Wow, we've lost half the audience to the show tonight due to coronaphobia

Published:3/16/2020 2:25:15 AM
[Comedy] Down in the Trumps

The feeling of depression and sense of impending doom that sweeps through a person when they think about how Donald Trump is fucking up the world.

Nick has been Down in the Trumps ever since he watched that documentary about Donald Trump on TV.

Published:3/15/2020 2:17:35 AM
[Comedy] Maralagovirus

A common name for COVID-19 or CoronaVirus

Did you hear Jeremy died from Maralagovirus?

Don’t touch me, you’re going to give me Maralago!!!

Ma’am, you’ve tested positive for COVID-19, or Maralagovirus. You have 10 minutes to live.

Published:3/14/2020 2:10:46 AM
[Comedy] @rzrbldee thinking bout how in like 50 years there’s gonna be a generation of little old ladies with ‘goth slut’ or something tattooed on their knees Published:3/13/2020 4:06:14 AM
[Comedy] Trump Flu

The name of the fully contracted illness brought on by coronavirus COVID-19. Since the disease is most deadly to the old, fat, and unwell the current president easily fits into the vulnerable demographic. As the same time, his vainglorious incompetence is largely responsible for the rapid increase of COVID-19 infections and cases of Trump Flu. Also known as Boomer Flu.

"I just got back from a seniors' cruise, and I feel horrible. I think I may have caught Trump Flu!"

Published:3/13/2020 2:37:11 AM
[Comedy] ‘Bloodshot’ works, if only for the cinematic universe it has the potential to create Vin Diesel stars as Bloodshot as Valiant Comics finally makes it to the big screen. Published:3/12/2020 11:00:22 AM
[Comedy] @indyfromspace You can’t call it “pandemic” unless it’s from the Pandemic region of France, otherwise it’s just Sparkling Flu Published:3/12/2020 3:29:32 AM
[Comedy] coronapocalypse

End of the world via corona virus

The coronapocalypse will end all of us.

Published:3/12/2020 2:58:16 AM
[Comedy] @markydoodoo The Macarena was just a tutorial on how to fold a sweater. Published:3/11/2020 10:27:05 AM
[Comedy] elbump

noun - A bumping of the elbows of two bros. A superior alternative to high-fives and fist bumps, especially when one bro's hands are full.

Steve: Rob!
Rob: Hey bro.
Steve: Elbump?
Rob: Elbump!
Steve: Awesomeness!

Published:3/11/2020 4:24:20 AM
[Comedy] you so fluke

being whack, full of shit, fake

you so fluke man.

Published:3/10/2020 2:16:12 AM
[Comedy] folx

An alternate spelling of the noun "folks," first used in 2001 and popularized by tumblr in 2016. Mainstream and academic use is growing after adoption of the term by LGBTQ+ people, especially LGBTQ+ persons of color.

Use of the "X" emphasizes the existence of binary gender systems (especially in indigenous communities) and suggests support of and solidarity with people who are oppressed and/or marginalized.

Increasing protection for the most vulnerable folx in our society increases protection for us all.

Published:3/9/2020 2:16:32 AM
[Comedy] Awkward Turkey

The result when one person tries to give another a high-5, but the other person tries to give a fist bump. Once these two hand gestures meet, they form a turkey at a really awkward moment.

person 1: "Dude, we just made an awkward turkey!"
person 2: "Well, this is awkward."

Published:3/8/2020 5:07:08 AM
[Comedy] toady

One who flatters in the hope of gaining favors.

"M often acts like a complete toady, commenting J on her taste, her babely features, and her mind in the hopes that she will one day bear his hapa."

Published:3/7/2020 2:28:54 AM
[Comedy] Night water

The water you drink when you wake up in the middle of the night that tastes like it came from a mountain spring blessed by God himself.

“Dude, that night water really hits different when you’re thirsty at 2am.”

Published:3/6/2020 2:22:38 AM
[Comedy] The Longing: Patience (and lots of it) is required, but it’s worth every minute Every so often a game like this comes along that is so audacious it reminds us of how conventional and pedestrian many of the games are by comparison. Published:3/5/2020 1:52:39 PM
[Comedy] Pixar movies keep asking big questions about the afterlife — using Chris Pratt and khaki pants "Onward" and "Soul" deal with the eternal and the ethereal. Published:3/5/2020 5:49:41 AM
[Comedy] dip up

A common phrase native to eastern Idaho and surrounding regions used to inform others that food is ready to be served and eaten.

Everyone come into the kitchen and dip up the lasagna I made for dinner.

Published:3/5/2020 2:17:56 AM
[Comedy] Woat

Worst Of All Time. Opposite of Goat meaning Greatest Of All Time

Dude, that party last night was so woat, the kegs were tapped after an hour

Published:3/4/2020 5:14:47 AM
[Comedy] ate that

did a great job; pulled it off well; had a lot of success with something. Used by teens in the projects of Queens, NY, and probably elsewhere in NYC.

You walk in with a new outfit and your friend says, "Damn, girl, you ate dat!" or, you get a 100% on a test and you say, "I ate that!"

Published:3/3/2020 2:15:20 AM
[Comedy] @aparnapkin nothing like being the first one on a conference call to show everyone who’s not boss Published:3/2/2020 5:01:58 PM
[Comedy] on the blade

A place or places where sex workers do business; in the business of sex work.

I would rather be on the blade than exploited in a minimum wage job.

Published:3/2/2020 2:28:37 AM
[Comedy] Brocrastinate

The action done by a bro when putting off work.

Bro #1: Dude did you do the History Summary Brah?

Bro #2: Nah man I was chillin, watched White Castle while jerking off and playing few pong rounds.

Bro #3: You are the Brocrastinate Master

Published:3/1/2020 2:22:46 AM
[Comedy] ground harness

The device used by Australians to prevent them from falling into the sun.

Ausie 1: Hey mate, your ground harness is getting loose
Asuie 2: Thanks mate, would have fallen into the sun without that

Published:2/29/2020 2:17:23 AM
[Comedy] New Yorker cover shows Trump with a mask over his eyes, to critique his coronavirus response A Newsday cartoon also uses the same satirical image. Published:2/28/2020 10:49:36 AM
[Comedy] Creepypasta

Essentially internet horror stories or a myth passed around other sites, to frighten readers and viewers. The word, "Creepypasta" comes from the term, " copypasta ". An internet slang term for a block of text that gets copied and pasted from website to website. Creepypastas are sometimes are supplemented with pictures, audio or video footage related to the story. Typically with gory, distorted or, otherwise, shocking content.

Suicidemouse.avi was the grandfather of all lost episodes. It showed Mickey Mouse walking down a endless street with random piano keys playing in the background. The video gets more distorted and music turns static. See for yourself.

Also, Sonic.exe is a very well known Creepypasta. There is even a clone of the game to download. Although it's it well done, the clone will never have the same fear factor as the story did.

Lastly, Slender Man was introduced in 2009 in the Something Awful forums. Slender Man was not well know untill 2012 when Mark Hadley released, "Slender:The Eight Pages".

Published:2/28/2020 2:11:18 AM
[Comedy] @Remember_Sarah The most unrealistic element of Jurassic Park is the part where an American theme parks investors become concerned after a single worker is killed Published:2/27/2020 2:09:52 PM
[Comedy] speaking cursive

when someone is so drunk and slurring their words, that if you wrote it down it wouldn't be in print it would be in cursive writing.

Last night Joe was so drunk, i couldn't understand him. It was like he was speaking cursive.

Published:2/27/2020 3:35:12 AM
[Comedy] @pattymo Mr. Peanut is in Hell. He spent decades as the smiling face of a company that sold the boiled and roasted corpses of his people as a snack Published:2/26/2020 8:06:30 PM
[Comedy] Cushioning

A dating technique where along with your main piece you also have several 'cushions', other people you'll chat and flirt with to cushion the potential blow of your main break-up and not leave you alone.

"Yeah, I don't think it's going that well with Dave. Luckily I've been cushioning him with Pablo and Gary"

Published:2/26/2020 2:28:21 AM
[Comedy] Cosbiesque

Predators behaving as if they are old, fragile, wholesome or feeble so as not to be held accountable for their actions.

Harvey Weinstein crawled into the courthouse very cosbiesque with a walker and orthopedic shoes but we all know that monster is vying for sympathy.

Published:2/25/2020 2:24:01 AM
[Comedy] deadass

equivalent to saying: for real; im serious; telling the truth.

peep 1: you robbed his bike? ...naahhh..
peep 2:im dead ass.

Published:2/24/2020 2:15:38 AM
[Comedy] Nevuary

The date used for something that will never happen

I'll be sure to get that report done... by Nevuary.

Published:2/23/2020 2:09:36 AM
[Comedy] girth certificate

Another term for the condom that you keep in your wallet.
(Like how a birth certificate proves your birth, a condom can prove your girth)

My friend not only keeps a copy of his birth certificate in his wallet, but he also carrys a girth certificate with him at all times...just in case.

Published:2/22/2020 1:50:42 PM
[Comedy] Baby Yoda toys are finally arriving. Sure, they missed the holidays — but at least that prevented spoilers. Products for the popular character from the Disney Plus hit "The Mandalorian" are about to hit stores. Published:2/22/2020 1:50:42 PM
[Comedy] @fingerbIaster All I want for my birthday is for a wealthy benefactor to bequeath me a sprawling Victorian mansion with a dark and terrible secret Published:2/21/2020 9:29:13 PM
[Comedy] Loomster

the one mutant french fry that's freakishly long in comparison to all the other fries in the bag

McDonalds has the worlds longest loomster

Published:2/21/2020 9:29:12 PM
[Comedy] @SCOR_PINKO After ya third sneeze, that’s between you and GOD. I done did all I could do Published:2/20/2020 10:01:51 AM
[Comedy] cleaning

(v) The act of shoving everything in a closet and calling it decent.

"I'm cleaning my closet."
"Where are you shoving all your stuff then?"
"My room."

Published:2/20/2020 2:21:40 AM
[Comedy] @AlannaBennett Just saw a thing about how they had to give Blake Lively prosthetic eye bags in The Rythm Section because hers weren’t pronounced enough & I’ve never related to something less Published:2/19/2020 11:49:52 PM
[Comedy] aLtErNaTiNg CaPs

The texting way of being sarcastic. Google "Spongebob Sarcasm Meme" for an example.

Idiot on the internet: Why is everyone typing in alternating caps.
Internet: WhY Is eVeRyOnE TyPiNg iN AlTeRnAtInG CaPs.

Published:2/19/2020 2:14:58 AM
[Comedy] Pluto'd

Verb: Downgraded; demoted; dumped; No longer of significance.

My girlfriend pluto'd me.

Yarggh, Pluto was unfairly pluto'd from the solar system by a group of stupid astronomers.

The Eagles were right to have pluto'd T.O.

Published:2/18/2020 2:10:20 AM
[Comedy] pearl clutcher

An uptight person, usually but not always female, usually but not always of conservative mores, who reacts with shock, feigned or otherwise, at other people's violations of decorum, propriety, morality, and so forth.

Someone got up at the PTA meeting and suggested the school hand out condoms to teenagers. The pearl clutchers in the audience nearly went into cardiac arrest.

Published:2/17/2020 2:11:52 AM
[Comedy] good yard

"Good yard" is an autocorrect version of a drunken/high "good night"

Night = Yard.

Don't ask me, ask Apple.

Cya tmrw, good yard

Published:2/16/2020 2:29:38 AM
[Comedy] coola boola

A phrase used to describe something that is great in the same manner as the use of the words cool, deadly, savage and super.

Mr D..."meet you for coffee at five?"
Ms C..."coola boola!"

Published:2/15/2020 2:22:46 AM
[Comedy] Alligator arms

When someone "pretends" to reach for the check at a meal with friends but always get to it a little to late.

Or when the bill sits in the middle of the table and nobody reaches for it.

"I'll get it, all of you guys have alligator arms"

Published:2/13/2020 4:14:29 AM
[Comedy] @LittleMissAngr1 [Cranking up the heat on my slow cooker] Me: slow cook it faster Published:2/12/2020 12:12:02 PM
[Comedy] The Mierdas Touch

The ability to turn everything one touches to shit.

The phrase is a mash up of the King Midas myth of being cursed that everything he touched turned to gold and mierdas, which is the spanish word for shit.

There is some controversy as to whether the object touched was already a piece of shit with an exceedingly thin veneer of gold plating, where the Mierdas Touch serves only to reveal the subject's true nature versus the Mierdas Touch actually turning any object into shit, even if it was previously unblemished.

The doctor was beloved by all until he was touched the Mierdas Touch, wherein, it came to light that the doctor was constantly drunk, mis-prescribed drugs, and belittled underlings.

Published:2/12/2020 2:05:26 AM
[Comedy] Harley Quinn’s flailing ‘Birds of Prey’ suddenly changes its title The film grossed only $33 million in its domestic debut. Published:2/11/2020 1:00:35 PM
[Comedy] owo

Basic info:
owo is an emoticon used in chat rooms similar to o.o but the 'w' Is supposed to make it cute.

What does it mean?
owo means, a blank stare, but in a cute way.

Other similar emote(s).
OwO o.o

Nerd: (says to class snake, Sam,) Another way of writing 1,000,000 is 1x10^6

Sam The Snake: owo

Published:2/11/2020 2:01:13 AM
[Comedy] Heart Horny

Horny for love, not really for sex, just for someone to cuddle with and love you unconditionally. a feeling that occurs when you a haven't been in a relationship/haven't been in one for awhile.

"idk, just felt really heart horny yesterday."
"just, wanted to have someone, idk."

Published:2/10/2020 2:23:43 AM
[Comedy] Twatching

Twatching — the act of experiencing an ongoing television show or event via live twitter monitoring, while avoiding the actual show or event.

People often engage in twatching when viewing a televised event — an award show, a debate, a congressional hearing, a sporting event or breaking news, for example — is too boring, irritating, upsetting or excruciating to watch live, so they choose, instead, to experience it in real time by following the hashtags and live tweeting of others.

Some people swear that twatching is often a better experience than watching.

“No, I’m not going to watch the Academy Awards, because when they’re not boring me with their cheesy numbers, they’re pissing me off with their criminally idiotic Oscar choices. But I’ll be twatching every minute, from the red carpet on.”

Published:2/9/2020 4:51:38 AM
[Comedy] armchairing

Talking about or doing something with little knowledge of it, or not actually doing anything and having other people or objects do it on your behalf.

QA Engineers are really just armchairing all day.

Published:2/8/2020 2:19:07 AM
[Comedy] ‘Birds of Prey’ is no ‘Harley Quinn’ animated series, but it maintains DC’s winning streak at the movies Margot Robbie is back, with no Joker in sight. Published:2/7/2020 6:03:57 AM
[Comedy] ‘Arise: A Simple Story’ is a game of symbolism and the stages of life “Arise: A Simple Story” coasts on its gentle visual language, but is a good option for those looking for a family-friendly game. Published:2/6/2020 4:00:05 PM
[Comedy] @VisionBored1 Pringles chips tubes need to be more like push pops we have the technology Published:2/6/2020 6:35:50 AM
[Comedy] bop

used to reference a good song; to say that a song is really good

Situation 1: SHINee's 'View' is such a bop
Situation 2: EXO's song 'Artificial Love' from their new album EX'ACT is a bop!

Published:2/6/2020 2:30:37 AM
[Comedy] Cathy Yan’s rapid rise from journalist to ‘Birds of Prey’ director: ‘I didn’t think you could do this professionally’ Yan guided Margot Robbie's return to her character Harley Quinn, and is the first woman of Asian descent to direct a major Hollywood superhero movie. Published:2/5/2020 11:58:11 PM
[Comedy] LARPer


One who dresses like a character from a video game usually and acts different scenes out.

"Hey, why is that guy dressed up and talking like Link?"
"Oh, that's Seth, he's a LARPer"

Published:2/5/2020 6:53:55 AM
[Comedy] outrage fatigue

noun. outrage fatigue. the exhaustion and entropy that occurs from too much outrage. Occurs in waves, often during peak election cycles. Outrage fatigue tends to afflict politically active people, and can be worse when your party is not in power, or has a power deficit. It escalates during environmental catastrophes, especially ones that are caused by human negligence. It also develops during troublesome economic times like corporate bailouts and high unemployment. Outrage fatigue may threaten close friendships.

After the week of union protests in Madison, I'm finished. I have serious "outrage fatigue".

When I heard about the latest military intervention in Libya, I was stunned by my apathy,lack of concern and disinterest. This is my worst ever episode of "outrage fatigue".

Published:2/3/2020 10:01:58 AM
[Comedy] @Browtweaten The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll Published:2/2/2020 9:02:14 PM
[Comedy] handegg

American football. As opposed to football/soccer, where players actually kick a ball with their feet, american football involves players carrying an egg-shaped object in their hands.

"Did you see the Steelers beat the Cardinals in the Super Bowl? What an excellent game of handegg."

Published:2/2/2020 9:02:14 PM
[Comedy] hygge

A Danish word (pronounced HU-guh) meaning social coziness. I.e. the feeling of a good social atmosphere.

This kickback is hygge.

Published:2/1/2020 4:30:18 AM
[Comedy] Lfg

Let's fucking go

Lfg bitches

Published:1/31/2020 2:21:58 AM
[Comedy] marry the ketchups

It's where you pour a half full bottle of ketchup into another half full bottle so you have one full bottle

Um, I wanted to get here early to marry the ketchups.

Published:1/30/2020 7:30:46 PM
[Comedy] The VR experience in ‘The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners’ prevents it from being just a zombie cliche It's difficult to count the number of video games in which someone is standing around a corner clutching a weapon and waiting for their mortal enemy to pass. But until recently it wasn't possible to physically experience that scenario. Published:1/30/2020 7:30:45 PM
[Comedy] Kobe!

What everyone yells when they shoot a fadeaway jumpshot with a paper ball into the garbage can.

*pump fake*
*fadeaway jumper*

Published:1/29/2020 5:07:58 PM
[Comedy] Five things we’d like to see in a revamped Obi-Wan Kenobi series on Disney Plus The Force was reportedly not with the original scripts of the anticipated show. Published:1/29/2020 5:07:58 PM
[Comedy] state raised

Term used to describe an individual who spent the greater part of their childhood in some form of government funded situation (Foster care/Welfare/Juvenile Detention Centers) and as an adult in prison and/or jail adjusts to their plight shockingly easy often seeming to thrive whilst incarcerated . Usually, but not necessarily used as an insult.

Hey man you see that dude eatin' everybody green beans in the chow hall?

Shit... I saw That State raised motherfucker eating straight out the garbage last week.

You think Ray Ray said anything to the Guards about us gambling?

Naw Ray Ray been in & out since we was kids he's state raised fo real, ain't no snitch in em

Published:1/28/2020 2:34:53 AM
[Comedy] BTO

Bathroom Time Off - Similar to PTO (Personal Time Off), one can easily achieve 40 hours of additional vacation time by taking a daily 9.23 minute dump at work. Executive types and employees with seniority can often increase their BTO up to 60 hours/year by extending their bathroom sessions out to 13.85 minutes.

Damn! I've got to level 168 on Candy Crush this year just on BTO alone.

I took so much BTO this morning that my legs went numb!

Thank god the company WiFi reaches the bathroom or I would've use $30 bucks in data while taking BTO this week.

Published:1/27/2020 2:27:45 AM
[Comedy] @alyssalimp The suburbs are powerful. No matter how strong you think you are, by day two you’re eating dinner at 4 and asking what the weather’s looking like tomorrow Published:1/26/2020 8:56:49 PM
[Comedy] doge

A very popular meme of a Shiba Inu dog with a strange look on his face. It went viral all over the internet. Now Doge is a dog meme. Most pictures of Doge are accompanied by words, usually the following: so, very, wow, much, such, and many.

Wow. Such Doge.

Published:1/26/2020 2:22:08 AM
[Comedy] @marybethbarone I know everything about my best friends’ lives like every single detail except what they do for work Published:1/25/2020 10:20:55 PM
[Comedy] Take him out

To eleminate someone. To kill him. To remove someone from a situation.

"Osama bin Laden is a menace. We will take him out." President George W Bush.

Published:1/25/2020 2:17:05 AM
[Comedy] Dense Cabbage

Used as an insult to idiots or people who stand up for a specific idiot.

p1 stands up for somebody spamming

p1: this dude is totally not spamming.
p2: you dense cabbage-

Published:1/24/2020 2:10:34 AM
[Comedy] wink wink nudge nudge

Expression used to make someone realize an ulterior motive to your conversation.

"I am so hungry. I wish someone would let me have a bite of his candy bar...wink wink nudge nudge"

Published:1/23/2020 2:34:45 AM
[Comedy] soft hours

Between the hours of 2-3:30 in the AM where you become a mushy loving, uncontrollable mess. Where you say sentimental things you regret/ deny saying later that same morning.

Guy 1: Bruh, do you know what time it is?
Guy 2: Nah bruh.
Guy 1 (with tissues and tears runnin down his face): its them soft hours.
Guy 2 (now cryin and hugging Guy 1): fuck bruh i love you so much you are my rock my everything my world i couldnt live without you.

In the morning:

Guy 2: we never speak of this again.

Published:1/22/2020 2:27:25 AM
[Comedy] ‘A Short Hike’: A pleasant break from the winter doldrums 'A Short Hike" is a good example of how a familiar video game form can be made into something more quiet and unhurried. Published:1/21/2020 11:52:57 AM
[Comedy] stoned pony

High horse. Conceited, snobbish. Acting as if you're better than everyone else.

Get off your stoned pony, Cassidy. Getting free drinks from Lazy-Eye Larry behind the bar isn't something to brag about...

Published:1/21/2020 6:37:00 AM
[Comedy] @robfromonline crazy how before dating apps the only way to meet someone was to bump headfirst into them while carrying a huge stack of important papers Published:1/19/2020 6:47:27 PM
[Comedy] Drip

When your bling is iced out but that shit melting from all your hot bars, you got the drip.

Just another word for immense swag.

Guy 1:"Yo, that new rapper got the drip."
Guy 2: "For real yo, he drippin."

Published:1/19/2020 2:12:43 AM
[Comedy] plant mom

mother of plants. someone who owns a significant number of plants and care for them deeply, these plants are usually kept inside to be close to their surrogate mother.

person 1: 'that person sure likes plants'
person 2:'yeh . she's a plant mom'

Published:1/18/2020 2:12:17 AM
Top Searches:
books1111111111111' UNION SELECT CHAR(45,120,49,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,50,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,51,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,52,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,53,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,54,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,55,45
dow1111111111111' UNION SELECT CHAR(45,120,49,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,50,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,51,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,52,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,53,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,54,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,55,45,8
books1111111111111 UNION SELECT CHAR(45,120,49,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,50,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,51,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,52,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,53,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,54,45,81,45),CHAR(45,120,55,45,

Jobs from Indeed

comments powered by Disqus