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[Comedy] October 20

National skip school/ work day. On this day you can skip whatever you like and not get in trouble for it

Person 1: Hey tomorrow is October 20th you know what that means...

Person 2: yep, I’ll be sleeping all day cause I’m skipping everything

Published:10/20/2019 2:30:36 AM
[Comedy] October 19

National confess your love day ;) The only day you can confess your feelings to that one person. Don’t be shy ??

On October 19 my life changed forever...Nicole really did have a fat crush on me.

Published:10/19/2019 4:51:29 AM
[Comedy] October 18

A day where you will either:

Kiss your crush/bf/gf
Slap someone’s ass
Ask your crush out
All of the above

On October 18 watch out for all of the following.

Published:10/18/2019 2:16:06 AM
[Comedy] @clhubes All I want for my birthday is my husband to take me to a remote tropical island where we can lie on the beach for 2 days completely uninterrupted ...and then on the third day a mysterious heiress is murdered in the lobby and oh no all the guests are Published:10/17/2019 8:40:37 AM
[Comedy] october 17

national girl hug a boy day ,, girls get to hug any boy they want :)

"Nation Girl Hug a Boy day is October 17!"

Published:10/17/2019 2:07:45 AM
[Comedy] snopes

This word can be used as a verb to indicate checking the validity of a suspect story. It is derived from the online urban legend reference site:

That sounds fake. You should snopes it.


She told me a story about a friend of a sorority sister who had a huge pimple that eventually exploded hundreds of baby spiders on her face, but I snopesed it, and that story is just an urban legend.

Published:10/16/2019 2:05:12 AM
[Comedy] @cavaticat me: I’m hungry fridge: great news, I’m full of foods you selected me: no, not like that Published:10/15/2019 4:29:26 AM
[Comedy] hell joint

A joint that is wrapped with bible page/pages

Jake: Look at this joint bro
Jack: Woah bro is that a hell joint

Jake: Yeah Bro
Jack: Dude your going to hell!

5mins in
Jake: Give it here
Jack: One sec let me just get to this paragrapgh

Published:10/15/2019 2:27:03 AM
[Comedy] @MavenofHonor It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when you’re looking at your phone next to someone who’s sleeping, you will inadvertently click on a video Published:10/14/2019 5:51:46 AM
[Comedy] trumpian treasure trove

The recently released texts exchanged between the US government and the Ukrainian representative that exposes government-backed extortionists doing their high-powered criminal thing.

It’s a trumpian treasure trove that will lead straight to draining the US government swamp!

Published:10/14/2019 2:20:44 AM
[Comedy] ‘Concrete Genie’: A kid’s game about the agonies of bullying and the joys of art The game's appreciation for creativity and off-beat gameplay make it easy to recommend to parents looking for something for elementary or middle school kids. Published:10/13/2019 11:19:51 AM
[Comedy] LMFNO

An abbreviated form for the phrase, “Laughing My Fucking Nipples Off.” Its purpose is to create a more expressive illustration of great laughter or amusement, similar to LMFAO (which means, "Laughing My Fucking Ass Off.") The term is commonly used on the Internet, online and conversations across gaming/chat rooms or texting.

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?
Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.
Girl: LMFNO!

Published:10/13/2019 2:16:19 AM
[Comedy] blyat

Fuck in Russian

(Around children)
Me: (stubs toe) Blyat!
Child: what does blyat mean?
Me: Oh it’s just a word I made up whenever I’m in pain

Published:10/12/2019 2:09:54 AM
[Comedy] Kislyaknesia

A partial or total loss of memory that mysteriously occurs after people associated with the Trump administration have meetings with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak, Ukrainian oligarch and politician, Viktor Medvedchuk, Chairman of Russian state-run bank VEB, Sergey Gorkov or anyone else with ties to Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions appeared to be suffering from Kislyaknesia by saying 35 times before the Senate Intelligence Committee either "I don't recall", "I don't recollect", "I don't remember" or "I have no recollection" when asked if he met with any Russian officials or Russian nationals before January 20th.

Before his memory miraculously returned Michael Flynn claimed he had Kislyaknesia when questioned about his contact with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak.

Published:10/11/2019 2:36:04 AM
[Comedy] Difficult difficult lemon difficult

The awkwardly worded antonym to 'Easy peasy lemon squeezy' meant to express that something was very difficultly done.

"That claims process was difficult difficult lemon difficult"

Published:10/10/2019 2:28:58 AM
[Comedy] @AbbyHasIssues I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 15 minutes over time. Published:10/9/2019 8:52:30 AM
[Comedy] I’m thinkin’ uh, fuck that

When someone asks you to do something and you don’t want to do it, you say this phrase.

You goin’ golfing er what?

Nah, I’m thinkin’ uh, fuck that.

Published:10/9/2019 2:21:11 AM
[Comedy] ‘Joker’s’ huge box office weekend shows the appeal of edgy comic-book movies The Joaquin Phoenix film had the biggest domestic October opening ever. Published:10/7/2019 11:12:59 AM
[Comedy] secure the bag

An expression use to describe the act of taking/obtaining advantage of the situation and keep something of value.

1. Play your cards right and secure the bag.
2. Be an intern and work full-time hours. That's how you secure the bag.
3. I cut him/her off but I secured the bag.
4. Friend 1: He/she said he/she wants to make it up to me.

Friend 2: There's your chance to secure the bag.

Published:10/7/2019 2:09:41 AM
[Comedy] Ruby Rose knows Batwoman is a step forward for LGBTQ superheroes — but she’s more interested in how she saves the day The Australian actress stars as Gotham City's newest caped crusader on the CW. Published:10/6/2019 8:05:25 AM
[Comedy] voice crack

when you or someone talks and their voice makes a funny noise all of a sudden

comes from mostly when youre in puberty

fat: oh ya that was hella tight
chubby: yeah when he went up the drive-way and then *h00weeeee3* did that cool trick

Published:10/5/2019 2:27:44 AM
[Comedy] ’Neo Cab’: Video game noir at its best Mercurial characters? Check. Moral compromises? Check. Emotionally nuanced endings? Check. Published:10/4/2019 8:03:09 AM
[Comedy] Stream sniping

Stream sniping is when someone watches your stream to get an upper hand to essentially cheat against you in a game. For example, they could find your position on an open-world map, find out where your base is, or even find out when you're low on health, so they can ambush you. It sucks. The deveopers of Rust, Facepunch Studios... are (to my knowledge), the first game developers to build a preventative measure against it into their game. They call it Streamer Mode.

Hey, its Edward Longface again! Ahhhh!!! Why did he shoot at me?! He probably knew my plan. He must be stream sniping!

Published:10/4/2019 2:21:15 AM
[Comedy] @samlymatters As an open mic comic I spent so much time fantasizing about “shutting down a heckler” & tonight during my set a guy finally yelled “when does the comedy start?!” & I couldn’t think of anything clever so I just said “about an hour ago you fuck Published:10/3/2019 8:47:30 AM
[Comedy] Weinsteined

Forced into a non-consensual act for fear of losing your career. Often involving erotic massage in a hotel room with a media mogul

She refused to be weinsteined so her career went down the tubes

Published:10/3/2019 2:15:27 AM
[Comedy] Our definitive ranking of the Jokers, from Jack Nicholson to Joaquin Phoenix As the new "Joker" movie comes out this week, here's how Phoenix compares to Heath Ledger, Jared Leto and the rest. Published:10/2/2019 10:50:27 AM
[Comedy] that’s a mood

when someone does something (normally to mimic another) and is very relatable

Jeff: *falls asleep in class*
Lucy: “That’s a mood!”

Published:10/2/2019 2:11:21 AM
[Comedy] heart eyes

when you stare at someone fondly and people who doesnt know your relationship can tell that you are attracted to her/him

random person: ah, are you two dating?
jim: no, why do you ask that?
random person: because you were looking at her with heart eyes!

Published:10/1/2019 2:36:07 AM
[Comedy] No-J

someone who didn't do it, but is being pronounced guilty anyway. He is the opposite of OJ, who did it, but got off scott free.

That No-J was convicted of killing his family. But I think someone just snuck in and killed them while he slept. If you just killed your family, could you just go back to sleep?
Jane needs to let her No-J boyfriend off the hook. Just because he has a hot co-worker doesn't mean they're doing it.

Published:9/30/2019 2:28:28 AM
[Comedy] they/them

they/them are pronouns typically used for people who identify as gender-nuetral

they go by they/them pronouns

oh Alex? they're over there

Published:9/29/2019 2:29:04 AM
[Comedy] Bronoun

Words used by bros to replace standard noun forms. Such as "Bro", "Dude", "Man", "Guy", and occasionally "Cuz".

"Bro, try this PJ"
"Bro, I love you Man"
"Dude was all over that shit"
"Guy, want some food Bro?"

All of these are Bronouns.

Published:9/28/2019 2:17:46 AM
[Comedy] @gothshakira every day men leave their homes with no bag, no water bottle, no lip balm, no hand sanitizer, no extra layer in case they get cold, just keys and a wallet shoved into their pocket. chaotic and reckless Published:9/27/2019 4:15:26 PM
[Comedy] sapiophobic

Someone who is scared of intelligent people, perhaps because they are stupid.

Me: Dude check out what this chick wrote in her tinder bio!

Friend: 'I'm sapiophobic'

What the f*ck is that!

Published:9/27/2019 2:11:02 AM
[Comedy] Kevin Feige could be the biggest thing to happen to Star Wars since Darth Vader The Marvel Studios mastermind is about to enter a galaxy that is far, far away. Published:9/26/2019 11:07:42 AM
[Comedy] the life

A catch-all term used to refer to life as a criminal; "the life" outside of the law.

"You're really thinking about quitting?"
"The life? Most definitely."

Vincent to Jules in Pulp Fiction

Published:9/26/2019 2:32:50 AM
[Comedy] @LizHackett Doing a low-budget but equally spiritually fulfilling version of Eat, Pray, Love entitled Gas Station, CVS, Return A Dress To Macy's. Published:9/25/2019 12:03:36 PM
[Comedy] feed him

To shoot , pull up , or kill someone

I don’t like the way he thinks he runs the streets , Ima feed him .

Published:9/25/2019 2:27:40 AM
[Comedy] dry snitching

Intentionally getting someone in trouble by outting something they've done wrong while trying to keep it sly.

*You return to work from lunch with the boss right there*
Coworker to you: "I didn't know we had two hour lunches!"
You later: ??

Dry snitching.

Published:9/24/2019 2:59:08 AM
[Comedy] Full send

V. 100% commitment to doing some heinous shit. Commonly used among skiiers/snowboarders.

I'm about to hit this cliff full send bro. Is the camera rolling?

Published:9/23/2019 7:31:33 AM
[Comedy] Sunday scaries

The feeling of dread knowing that Monday is going to be rough.

I'm suffering from Sunday scaries!

Published:9/22/2019 2:09:16 AM
[Comedy] Identity Politics

A political dog whistle term used by white people and white allies when they get called out on their white supremacist acts.

Yhe Left engages the Black vote what a disgusting display of “identity politics.”

Published:9/21/2019 2:32:32 AM
[Comedy] @ayoedebiri might fuck around and get white and conventionally attractive and brand my mental breakdowns as monetizable content and create a cult of personality around me who will call it art to my face so much that I lose sense of reality Published:9/20/2019 1:59:41 PM
[Comedy] @christineexists tinder but it’s cats. everyone makes their cat a profile. the swiping doesn’t matter. U just. Look at cats and their interests and then look at MORE CATS Published:9/20/2019 1:33:17 PM
[Comedy] ’The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening’: A first-class makeover for a classic game It's Zelda the way you’d like to remember it. Published:9/20/2019 8:27:24 AM
[Comedy] nothing is sacred

A phrase commonly used when something respectable is fucked up, or something innocent has been made disgusting.

"Apparently people make porn of the new Sonic movie"
"Damn, nothing is sacred."

Published:9/19/2019 2:19:55 AM
[Comedy] From ‘The Boondocks’ to ‘The Far Side,’ beloved ’90s comics are springing back to life "The Boondocks" will be "reimagined" and "The Far Side" teases its return. Published:9/18/2019 3:18:23 PM
[Comedy] mids

mid-grade marijuana

Reid said he's got some mids, but im tryin to get some nuggs.

Published:9/18/2019 2:15:45 AM
[Comedy] On the arm

Getting something free of charge. Police lingo for free.

Dunkin Donuts girl: That will be $1.56 for that coffee officer.

Police Officer: You must be new here. This ones on the arm.

Published:9/17/2019 2:14:32 AM
[Comedy] Trumpspeak

A series of 2 or more sentences devoid of any real substance or insight, in which all subsequent sentences are just a rephrasing of the first.

When he said, "I am very highly educated. I know words. I have the best words." Is the typical trumpspeak i hear every time he talks.

"I don't hate mexicans. I love mexicans. I employ thousands of mexicans and by the way mexicans love me. They respect me. Everyone loves me."

Published:9/16/2019 2:33:23 AM
[Comedy] Headcanon

(also written as "head canon," but it's really one word.)

An idea, belief, or aspect of a story that is not mentioned in the media itself, but is accepted by either the media consumer themselves or the fandom in general. If it is confirmed by the creator of the story, it becomes canon.

In Homestuck , a popular webcomic , many suspect the headcanon that the trolls are carnivores, because of their natural homicidal tendencies and sharp teeth. It's never explicitly stated in the comic that this is true, but it'd be kind of dumb to assume they're a race known for salads and ice cream sundaes.

Published:9/15/2019 2:24:50 AM
[Comedy] has me dead

Something that kills you inside and stresses you out

That movie has me dead it was so bad

Published:9/14/2019 2:18:42 AM
[Comedy] Lois Lane is now a White House reporter — and an ‘enemy of the people’ The top reporter in comics has been updated for the Trump era, and gets her press pass revoked. Published:9/13/2019 6:12:57 AM
[Comedy] Trypophobia

A fear of holes. However, be warned that if you google this word unknowingly, you will encounter images of holes in human skin, often with something in them.

So I googled trypophobia one day, wondering what all the hype was. Now I have it.

Published:9/13/2019 2:11:03 AM
[Comedy] @KatieVallely00 Every girl who peaked in high school fucking loves posting a picture on Instagram of their khaki wearing boyfriend (who also looks like their dad) holding a baby (likely a niece/nephew) with the caption “my heart is so full”. Published:9/12/2019 8:38:14 AM
[Comedy] Raina Telgemeier became a hero to millions of readers by showing how uncomfortable growing up can be The graphic novelist has sold millions by baring her soul and tapping into a largely-overlooked female comics readership. Published:9/12/2019 7:06:08 AM
[Comedy] Pussy ass bitch

Huge coward. Piece of shit that doesn’t accept any responsibility. Takes credit for for an economy that Obama revived. Openly racist. Liar

“The President of the United States is a pussy ass bitch. “

Published:9/12/2019 2:08:40 AM
[Comedy] Thats that on that

most of the time used at the end of a persons argument

peaches: "i got an itchy coochie and thats that on that

Published:9/11/2019 2:31:02 AM
[Comedy] Sharpiegate

A Twitter trend that started after Donald Trump falsely claimed that Hurricane Dorian was going to strike Alabama (their local weather service told him otherwise). Despite the evidence of being proven wrong, Trump held a press conference in the Oval Office with a National Weather Service map apparently doctored with a cone shape displayed on parts of Alabama in a black marker.

It's embarrassing, possibly illegal and an especially strong indicator on just how insecure the President is. Instead of manning up and admitting that he made boo-boo, he prefers to whine about how "fake news" is being mean to him.

Sharpiegate makes me long for a a real leader

Published:9/10/2019 2:28:30 AM
[Comedy] @epsteinbrain girls born after 1938 don't know how to cook. all they know is doo wop, talk on rotary phone, fuck the milkman, vacuum barred out and lie Published:9/7/2019 1:39:22 PM
[Comedy] womble

idiot, dolt or fool, a person that wastes other people's time by endless waffling about one thing or another.Someone that interrupts a constructive conversation with a piece of irrelevant or unrelated information, often a personal story or anecdote, that doesn't apply at all. In the work environment this person is generally over paid and always under delivers due to their tendency to waste their own and everyone else's time.

That person is a fucking womble.

I wish they would stop wombling and get on with it.

Dont include them in the meeting if they are just going to womble on and on about complete bullshit

Published:9/7/2019 2:09:09 AM
[Comedy] big girl's blouse

British slang term for a wimpy, emasculated and weak man. In particular, one who complains immoderately.

Ya big girl's blouse! Grow a pair why don't ya.

Published:9/6/2019 2:29:22 AM
[Comedy] Kraft Dinner

What they call Macaroni & Cheese in Canada. The box actually says "Kraft Dinner" where it would normally say "Macaroni & Cheese". In Canada they accept this as perfectly normal.

"Kraft" is, of course, the company that makes the product and "Dinner" is what we will eat when it is done cooking. Be sure to prepare it with milk in a bag.

Even though Macaroni & Cheese is the all-American convenience food product, Canada consumes, per capita, more Kraft Dinner than the United States!

Published:9/5/2019 2:28:15 AM
[Comedy] The legendary editor who discovered ‘Cathy’ and ‘The Boondocks’ — and guided ‘Doonesbury’ Says Garry Trudeau, “Lee made wildly insecure artists feel supported and safe and empowered to take creative risks.” Published:9/4/2019 4:21:05 PM
[Comedy] Nuclear take

the most extreme version of a hot take. something that almost nobody except the most insane people would ever agree with

"The man was arguing for pedophilia being legal. This isn't even a hot take anymore, it's a god damn nuclear take"

Published:9/4/2019 2:17:49 AM
[Comedy] duhmerican

An utterly foolish or senseless, often racist person who comes from the United States and knows nothing about the rest of the world. Generally a Trump loving, NRA fanboy, complete moron.

On the news today there were hundreds of duhmericans at the Trump rally spewing their hate and ignorance.

Published:9/3/2019 2:13:27 AM
[Comedy] @Raptors__ Dude Rorschach is my favourite superhero i just wish his mask didnt have a picture of my parents fighting on it Published:9/2/2019 12:09:54 PM
[Comedy] lowkey a goddess


beyonce is lowkey a goddess
Honey its just the queen herself

Published:9/2/2019 2:04:36 AM
[Comedy] @lifeattiffanys My kid just called romaine lettuce “gross kale” so the next batch of humans is coming along nicely, thanks for asking. Published:9/1/2019 9:31:07 AM
[Comedy] @MommaUnfiltered “I’m not your maid” I say under my breath as I walk around cleaning up after everyone. Published:8/31/2019 5:57:11 PM
[Comedy] vsco girl

the tumblr girls of 2019, you’ll probably catch them wearing a scrunchie, tube top, puka shell necklace, white vans or birkenstocks and don’t forget the hydroflask to finish off the look

Look at her instagram feed she’s such a vsco girl

Published:8/31/2019 2:23:57 AM
[Comedy] hit dem folks

A new dance when you raise your hand over your head and lift your leg

While daquan was hitting the whip I was killing the hit dem folks

Published:8/30/2019 2:20:16 AM
[Comedy] ‘Control’: A space-warping science fiction game with much to like but not a lot to love 'Control' is a weird game that would have benefited from being a lot weirder. Published:8/29/2019 12:43:22 PM
[Comedy] add oil

A Chinese expression of encouragement, often heard during sporting events or right before exams.

Chinese: ??
Mandarin: Jia1 You2
Cantonese: Ga1 Yau4

P1: I'm so screwed for this final. I haven't studied all semester.
P2: You'll do fine. Add oil!


P1: (participating in a sporting event)
P2: GA1 YAU4! GA1 YAU4!

Published:8/29/2019 2:10:57 AM
[Comedy] @TheRealSassy1 The fact that Head and Shoulders doesn't have a body wash called 'Knees and Toes' disappoints me. Published:8/28/2019 5:41:54 PM
[Comedy] ‘Black Panther II’: Five things we want to see in the 2022 sequel Will the Black Panther face off against one of Marvel’s oldest characters? Published:8/27/2019 11:29:55 AM
[Comedy] @Zaius13 The most embarrassing part about farting myself awake was that it was the most interesting aspect of my PowerPoint presentation. Published:8/24/2019 10:15:31 AM
[Comedy] broship

A non-romantic pairing of two (or more) characters together. It focuses on the their relationship as friends, or occasionally as real blood-related brothers.

May be written as: "bro ship", "broship" or "bro!ship"

Relatable to: BrOTP

Ace, Luffy, and Sabo have the best bro!ship ever!
I love Edward and Al, they're my number one broship.
Yep, I bro!ship those two.

Published:8/24/2019 2:10:15 AM
[Comedy] @pant_leg you’re telling me a childhood made this trauma??? Published:8/23/2019 10:11:04 PM
[Comedy] Shadowban

A Shadowban is an excuse trolls and sad people use to justify why no one bothers to read, reply or like the content that they post online. They assume that it must be because their content is hidden from public view, in fact they're just boring.

I know for sure I've been shadowbanned because hardly anyone comments or likes my posts on Twitter. It's definitely a shadowban conspiracy because I know, I'm like, genius, and everyone would be amazed by my super-radical views.

Published:8/23/2019 2:36:19 AM
[Comedy] @copymama A woman at the grocery store stopped me and asked “Do you know where the cheese is?” and it was the only time in my life that I confidently gave directions. Published:8/22/2019 8:00:37 AM
[Comedy] Goldfishing

When someone is so fucked up, they head in one direction with a goal in mind but half-way there, forget that goal and wander off in a random direction with or without another goal in mind. Term comes from goldfish in an aquarium acting the same way due to their seconds-long memory.

He was so fucked up on mushrooms, he spent the whole night goldfishing around his apartment and never made it out to meet us.

We wasted a few hours goldfishing around camp before we even realized that we missed the burn.

Published:8/22/2019 2:27:35 AM
[Comedy] tap water

Tap water is pretty much the same as bottled water, only you'll save a shitload of money and, believe it or not, you will be healthier drinking tap water over bottled water (probably because bottled water has chemicals in it.) It also tastes better (in my opinion), and the only reason why people don't like it is because you need to refrigerate it for a while for it to be cold.

tap water

Published:8/21/2019 2:21:01 AM
[Comedy] and i oop-

When something or someone does something that catches you off guard or catches your attention. Can be a response to a very bold statement or action or also when somone is so good looking that you are taken back by their looks. Comes from a popular meme video where someone says it and makes a suprised face.

Clarissa: *says bold statement*
Vivian: and I oop-

Published:8/20/2019 2:18:00 AM
[Comedy] Published:8/18/2019 10:07:41 AM
[Comedy] well up

(verb) welled up, welling up

To begin to form tears. The incipient and ofttimes unfinished stage of crying; water begins to accumulate within the eyes, without necessarily doing so in such abundance as to form rolling tears.

Man, I watched your video and just fuckin' welled up. And I do not well up for nothing.

Published:8/18/2019 2:04:02 AM
[Comedy] Crick

A common Southernism refering to a pain, spasm, or strain in a joint such as a neck, back, or knee.

I have a crick in my neck.

Published:8/17/2019 2:35:47 AM
[Comedy] @chrisfarren choosing the perfect podcast to listen to for the 20 second walk taking the trash out so i don’t accidentally exist in silence for a single moment of my life Published:8/16/2019 5:02:51 AM
[Comedy] fuck-you friday

A Friday on which you refuse all requests and deny all favors, instead cursing out the person who is asking.

You: Hey self, it's another Fuck-You Friday.

Jim: (enters) Can you help me with this report?

You: Not today pal. Fuck you.

Published:8/16/2019 2:20:11 AM
[Comedy] How Woodstock — the bird — was inspired by the 1969 music festival Charles Schulz named Snoopy's yellow friend in 1970, the summer after the festival staged 50 years ago this week. Published:8/15/2019 10:17:30 AM
[Comedy] @LizHackett Do people who get eight hours of sleep every night not know about spending that time staring at a ceiling and imagining worst case scenarios? Published:8/15/2019 3:22:42 AM
[Comedy] a thing

It's the stage in middle/high school where you aren't quite dating yet, but you've both established that you like each other. It's exclusive but not completely yet.

"Are you dating Stacy?" "No but we have a thing"

Published:8/15/2019 2:15:28 AM
[Comedy] New York Comic Con’s Harvey Award nominations show streaming services gaining ground Netflix’s “The Umbrella Academy” and “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina,” Amazon’s “The Boys” and DC Universe’s “Doom Patrol” are among the nominees. Published:8/14/2019 11:14:20 AM
[Comedy] Misomaniac

Noun (Uncountable)
1-Someone who hates everything and everyone.

2-Someone who shows hatrey and contempt to everything and everyone. Feels that everything is worthless/beneath consideration.

He's such a misomaniac ,he complains about everything !
Why do you hate all my friends, are you a misomaniac ?
I discovered that I'm a misomaniac , I'm disgusted of all society.

Published:8/14/2019 2:10:28 AM
[Comedy] unemployee

Someone who recently had a job, but lost it in this depressed economic climate.

There are too many unemployees up in here.

I'm an unemployee of GM.

Published:8/13/2019 2:04:54 AM
[Comedy] run a fade

To "fade" someone is essentially the same as beating someone, be it singularly or in a group. The phrase "run a fade" is usually used during a confrontation, or if the confrontation is planned. To "run" said fade means that the belligerent parties will meet at another location to fight, or if one party is asking the other if they want the fight to start right then and there.

"I ain't even playin' with you or your boys' shit no more. You wanna run a fade or not?"

Published:8/12/2019 2:31:03 AM
[Comedy] windjammer

the agonizing scream of a trapped turd.

"Man, I was so constipated the other day ... I was letting out all kinds of windjammers left and right but couldn't close the deal in the bathroom."

Published:8/11/2019 7:24:31 AM
[Comedy] @AmySilverberg I told someone I was 30 and they said “that’s okay.” Published:8/10/2019 2:24:16 AM
[Comedy] big cap

When someone lying out they ass.

"Aye lil bruh, on my momma I got 30 racks on me right na"
"Hell naw, that's big cap"

Published:8/10/2019 2:24:13 AM
[Comedy] The story behind the fake Mad magazine and TV Guide covers in ‘Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood’ Quentin Tarantino even dreamed up the idea for Mad magazine's new parody cover. Published:8/8/2019 8:38:51 AM
[Comedy] ‘Observation’: A brilliant science fiction game that puts the player in an unfamiliar situation Rather than cast players in the role of an astronaut struggling for survival onboard a damaged space station, 'Observation' inserts players into the circuits of the AI. Published:8/7/2019 12:03:21 PM
[Comedy] @runolgarun please remember that vampire unions are the ones who fought to give you a vampire weekend Published:8/7/2019 11:32:47 AM
[Comedy] @alyssalimp A plane? Get here four hours early, let us X-ray you and bring birth certificate or we CANNOT let you board A train? Show up as we roll in bring whatever you want we’re not gonna check your ticket love you Published:8/7/2019 2:31:42 AM
[Comedy] @moooooog35 Can anyone recommend a good wine that pairs well with a teenager's shitty attitude? Published:8/4/2019 6:16:24 AM
[Comedy] number neighbor

Someone who has the same phone number as you, besides the last digit.

Greg: Hey, Karla, what's your number?

Karla: (719):558-9013

Greg: Hey! We're number neighbors! Mine's (719):588-9016.

Published:8/4/2019 2:15:29 AM
[Comedy] Settler

Within a successful, seemingly stable relationship, the settler refers to the "better half", who in essence settles with their partner. This person tends to be either more attractive, wealthier, smarter, personable or some other quality that would seemingly make their partner look inferior, to the extent that people begin to question why they would even date in the first place.

The opposite of a reacher

Looking at the Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri relationship, it is painfully clear that Janet (Ms. Jackson, if you're nasty) is a settler.

Published:8/3/2019 2:40:28 AM
[Comedy] testin' my gangsta

Checking whether I am a real street thug or just a guy doing the clothes and the talk.

First party out of jail and this little suburban Megan was testin' my gangsta, she only wanted me if I'd really done time.

Published:8/2/2019 2:29:40 AM
[Comedy] @bobvulfov (to my date after each preview at a movie) the actual film will be much longer than that Published:8/1/2019 10:26:08 AM
[Comedy] ‘Wolfenstein: Youngblood’: It’s all about your friends It's fun to play with a friend but, ultimately, it’s like going to a restaurant where you know the service is fine and you wouldn’t look for anything unusual. Published:8/1/2019 9:57:22 AM
[Comedy] G Code

The unwritten rules of the street. No snitchin, no testifying, no cooperation with law enforcement, no letting anybody punk you, show respect to earn respect, no disrespecting of the game, no hating, mind your business, hold your own, accept the consequences of your crimes, remain loyal and true, money over bitches

G code is my religion.

Published:8/1/2019 2:25:36 AM
[Comedy] genderqueer

Any position in a wide variety of gender identities, spanning the spectrum between male and female. A person who is Genderqueer is not transgendered, though the option is open to transition. Being genderqueer has no bearing on sexual identity or orientation.

Eli might have a woman's body, but ze doesn't feel like a woman or a man. Eli is genderqueer.

Published:7/31/2019 2:18:12 AM
[Comedy] primetiming

Staying up late watching TV after midnight. Usually primetiming involves watching reruns of favorite shows.

He was primetiming late last night watching reruns of Family Guy.

Published:7/30/2019 2:14:16 AM
[Comedy] love is love

It's not about the sex or gender of the person but how they treat you! So, as long as you're getting the love and affection that you need to be happy in love then it doesn't and/or shouldn't matter what gender is loving you.

Often a term used by bisexuals or those who have no issues with swinging with the same-sex as long as the loving is good!

i.e. A guy might say to another guy, "I'm just looking for someone to love me (a genderless statement) because love is love!" The sex of the person isn't the issue but how the person is treated as it pertains to being loved!

Published:7/29/2019 2:46:11 AM
[Comedy] death drop

A type of dance when a dancer dramatically falls backwards into a struck pose on the ground, usually to end a dance.

turn turn turn stop and death drop!

Published:7/28/2019 2:32:29 AM
[Comedy] go awf

go awf = go off . pretty much just talk your shit ????.

applesauce123 : im freaking tired of people lying on my name .

johnson6282629 : GO AWF SISSSSS !

Published:7/27/2019 2:24:54 AM
[Comedy] in my bag

the act of being in your own world; focused; being in the zone; on your grind

I be in my bag when i get in the booth.

I got an exam coming up, it's time to go in my bag and study.

Published:7/26/2019 2:19:21 AM
[Comedy] off the rip

The beginning or onset of some activity or likewise. See off the top.

Before we even left the crib dude hit us for gas off the rip.

Published:7/25/2019 2:33:25 AM
[Comedy] @samlymatters When I was in high school my guy friend asked if I watched porn and I lied and said I did and he asked what key words I usually used but I had no idea what he was talking about and thought he meant password so I was just like “Idk usually something s Published:7/24/2019 12:55:20 PM
[Comedy] spill the tea sis

When you or your friend has hot drama that needs to be told.

“sis you won’t belie what just happened..”
“ooo spill the tea sis”

Published:7/24/2019 2:27:20 AM
[Comedy] How Billy Eichner and John Oliver help save the 'Lion King’ remake from itself A "Billy on the Street" clip from 2017 foreshadows some of the saving comedic grace in the photorealistic "Lion King." Published:7/23/2019 12:19:30 PM
[Comedy] @TheCatWhisprer My 4y/o’s solution to me saying something was too expensive was “you can just go to work and get more money” if anybody needs a financial advisor. Published:7/23/2019 10:20:55 AM
[Comedy] Ricky Renuncia

Coloquial frase used by Puertoricans said to someone that should just call it quits.

“Man, my fucking work is gonna kill me.”
“Then Ricky Renuncia to it dude!”

Published:7/23/2019 2:17:58 AM
[Comedy] The five best Comic-Con trailers, from ‘Top Gun: Maverick’ to ‘Rick and Morty' Nostaglia and '80s touchstones rocked San Diego's Hall H, including some famous flyboys. Published:7/22/2019 1:44:04 PM
[Comedy] Yeet

To discard an item at a high velocity

Alex finishes his soda and proceeds to yeet his empty can into a trash bin

Alex (while throwing the can): “YEET!”

Published:7/22/2019 2:11:39 AM
[Comedy] usury

Charging an exorbitent interest rate for borrowed money. Considered a criminal act in many countries.

Chase Bank recently raised it's interest rate on credit cards to 32.24%. This is usury at its finest.

Published:7/21/2019 2:06:32 AM
[Comedy] Sco pa tu manaa

The meaning is legit from a song called Kawoula Biov by Daavi Neba and Patapaa who are Ghanaians. The phrase “sco pa tu manaa” was said by Patapaa in the song which is literally Ghanaian gibberish. It was given a meaning by twitter users “what’s on your mind” or what’s your opinion on a topic.

On twitter when an image is posted with the caption “Sco pa tu manaa” they’re asking for your opinion on the image or what’s on your mind when you see the image.

Published:7/20/2019 2:28:24 AM
[Comedy] @ledbettercarly me going to the gym two days in a row: wow can't believe i'm the fittest person alive Published:7/19/2019 11:56:13 AM
[Comedy] slay

killed it. succeeded in something amazing.

Miley's new album slayed

Published:7/19/2019 2:22:37 AM
[Comedy] @simoncholland One side of our sink has a garbage disposal. The other side is where my daughter just dumped a full bowl of cereal. Published:7/18/2019 6:20:12 AM
[Comedy] Insta baddie

A super cool person who basically famous on Instagram and is basically a bad bitch. An insta baddie rarely smiles because they are that cool. Their posts consist of mainly selfies or mirror selfies with cool sunglasses or with a drink consisting of a straw in their mouth

That girl is such an insta baddie!
Your post from yesterday is so insta baddie.

Published:7/18/2019 2:17:55 AM
[Comedy] @alicewetterlund Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me? Published:7/17/2019 8:15:53 AM
[Comedy] Area 51

A place where the military is hiding all of those spacey bois. Will shoot you on sight if you get close.

Person 1: I tried walking into Area 51
Person 2: But why though?
Person 1: To see the spacey bois
Person 2: Did you get to see them?
Person 1: No, I was almost shot.
Person 2: What the—

Published:7/17/2019 2:42:39 AM
[Comedy] Situationship

A relationship that has no label on it.. like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.

Me: Me and this guy have been talking for six months now.
Friend: Are you guys together?
Me: Its like were together but were not.. its more of a situationship that's happening.

Published:7/16/2019 2:07:37 AM
[Comedy] snatching wigs

The act of figuratively losing your hair (wig) in response to a particularly amazing or shocking information or situation, to signify that you nearly lost your shit. The imagery is that said wig a) flies through the air; b) may interfere with air traffic if a group of wigs are snatched; c) may be seen from space if reacting to really fantastic events or information. This is deadass the highest form of reaction. Antonyms include Low-key

When BigHit Entertainment dropped the comeback date for BTS with no warning, they were snatching wigs AGAIN and sent them into orbit.

When John Cena stanned kpop, he was basically snatching wigs off nearly every fandom.

At Coachella, when the shadows of Destiny's Child appeared, Queen Bey & company were snatching wigs off everyone in attendance, those watching online, and those who hadn't even seen it yet.

Published:7/15/2019 2:37:54 AM
[Comedy] Hunty

An amalgamate of honey and cunty. A demeaning term without being overly aggressive.

Don't be jealous because my hair is layed, hunty.

Published:7/14/2019 2:31:17 AM
[Comedy] @LukeMones A woman just stormed into this bar while I was doing standup, threw her purse down, and screamed “IM LEAVING MY HUSBAND” and everyone applauded. God left this city long ago. Published:7/13/2019 8:53:52 PM
[Comedy] @HenpeckedHal The trick to getting your kids to eat more vegetables is to mix them in with their favorite foods. For example, I like to wedge a few carrot sticks into my daughter's crayon box. Published:7/13/2019 8:21:10 PM
[Comedy] serve

To bring it. To work the runway/catwalk to your best ability. To have bitches gagging in awe.

"That girl was fierce." "I know did you see her serve?"

Published:7/13/2019 2:18:41 AM
[Comedy] white knuckling

When you're taking a situation as it comes and flying by the seat of your pants. Often attributed to anxiety, and feelings either good or bad. A reference to clinging fiercely to something, such as a rope, to the point where ones knuckles would turn white from forcing blood from the capillaries.

Jesus, I'm sweating, I was white knuckling my way through that interview. Those guys are scary.

Published:7/12/2019 2:10:22 AM
[Comedy] Shooketh

Shooketh is the feeling you get when you are beyond the point of shook.

I was shooketh of how cute that alpaca was.

Published:7/11/2019 2:34:32 AM
[Comedy] @christtnnicole when I die bomerang them lowering me pls Published:7/10/2019 7:01:50 PM
[Comedy] Brutiful

A fusion of the words brutal & beautiful.

gawsh daym that breakdown was brutifully done!

Published:7/10/2019 2:15:48 AM
[Comedy] Does ‘Spider-Man: Far From Home’s’ big reveal give a hint about what Marvel Studios has planned next? Who knew Spider-Man and Captain Marvel were so connected? Published:7/9/2019 11:43:57 AM
[Comedy] fly a sign

Hold up a sign - usually cardboard, usually on a street corner, usually asking for some sort of handout.

I was once told that if you're going to fly a sign the best is "Anything helps. God bless."

Published:7/9/2019 2:10:10 AM
[Comedy] Half Boyfriend

Having a male that you do relationship things with but you are not in a relationship with them. You can go hook up with other guys with no worries cause you're half single.

That's my half boyfriend but I'm still half single... So hello!

Published:7/8/2019 4:22:56 AM
[Comedy] Dead Ting

A person who is a boring cunt and is extremely dull.

You still with Megan?
Nah g, she's a dead ting.

Published:7/7/2019 1:28:48 PM
[Comedy] Chonk

(noun) First seen in an Internet meme that began circulating circa summer 2018, the word “chonk” refers to an aggressively chubby housecat.

According to the cat girth scale depicted in the meme, a cat is a chonk (or chonker) if it has between 30 and 60 percent body fat.

Variations: chomk, chonker, heckin’ chonker

My cat, Snowball, cries for food and tricks my family members almost daily into feeding her more than once... she’s becoming quite the hefty little chonk.

Published:7/6/2019 2:23:00 AM
[Comedy] Spider-Man’s greatest nemesis is in ‘Spider-Man: Far From Home’ — but it isn’t Mysterio We've been waiting for this. Published:7/5/2019 7:31:56 AM
[Comedy] gender fluid

Gender Fluid is a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is Gender Fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more boy some days, and more girl other days.
Being Gender Fluid has nothing to do with which set of genitalia one has, nor their sexual orientation.

No, I'm not a boy, and I'm not a girl either. I am gender fluid.

Published:7/5/2019 2:13:35 AM
[Comedy] MAD magazine, a pioneer of modern satire, will soon cease publishing new content The once-subversive institution inspired generations of comedians and artists. NOw it will live on only as a publisher of nostaglia. Published:7/4/2019 3:10:28 PM
[Comedy] @marknorm Everyone always jokes that women are obsessed with shoes but my female friends aren't the ones posting 6 sneaker insta pics a week. Published:7/4/2019 2:13:26 PM
[Comedy] debtpression

When you're so broke you spiral into a deep depression stopping you from doing things you love and hanging out with people.

"Hey man, wanna go out tonight?"

"Nah man I don't wanna get worse debtpression"

Published:7/4/2019 2:07:20 AM
[Comedy] um friend

A partner in a sexual relationship on an ambiguous standing.

"This is Kate, my, um, friend."

Published:7/3/2019 2:35:32 AM
[Comedy] @MaraWilson I saw an ad for athleisure wear with a testimonial from a former Lululemon wearer and she said “I haven’t even touched my Lulu since I got these!” and all I could think was “touch my lulu” sounds like some WASPy mom euphemism for masturbation Published:7/2/2019 2:03:08 PM
[Comedy] Theyfriend

Much like boyfriend or girlfriend, "theyfriend" is a gender neutral term that can be used for your genderfluid/agender/etc significant other that uses neutral pronouns.

"I'm going to see my theyfriend today! I love them so much~"

Published:7/2/2019 2:28:25 AM
[Comedy] gentlefem

A person of the female sex who decides to give up on becoming a dress wearing lady to become a gentleman. The woman does not need to be genderqueer (or any other transgender label), or a lesbian of any kind to do this.

I saw Laura and her girlfriend at the dance last night, and she's become such a gentlefem. Laura was there treating the ladies better than the actual gentlemen!

Published:7/1/2019 2:26:24 AM
[Comedy] go off

1. to angrily complain about
2. drone on about a topic, ramble
3. to leave and partake in an activity (especially surfing)

present: go off
past: went off
future: going off

1. "i can't stop goin' off about how high the taxes are"

2. "we had a couple beers and just went off about the days events"

3. "we're gonna go off this afternoon if the surf's up"

Published:6/30/2019 2:19:25 AM
[Comedy] @abbycohenwl Hi, its God. Sorry I missed your call because I'm everywhere but I'll get back to you, maybe in strangely fitting words from a coworker or a dog's smile Published:6/29/2019 3:13:46 PM
[Comedy] LGBTQIA

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*, Queer, Intersex, Asexual

LGBTQIA is an inclusive acronym that includes most all Sexual and Gender identities. Also commonly used: LGBTQIA+

Published:6/29/2019 2:11:38 AM
[Comedy] ‘The Sinking City’ sets a mood but struggles to go anywhere with it Its supernatural elements aren’t unnerving and its noirish elements rest on characters who are simply shady. Published:6/28/2019 8:06:10 AM
[Comedy] Booger hook

A humorous alternative for any of the four fingers commonly used to pick ones nose

Get your dirty booger hooks away from my French fries.

Published:6/28/2019 2:43:52 AM
[Comedy] rode hard and put away wet

The way someone looks or feels when they've had a hard time of it. From a horseman's term, when someone has not taken care of a horse after a hard day.

He was all hot and sweaty, he looks like he was rode hard and put away wet.

Published:6/27/2019 2:28:10 AM
[Comedy] Trump Hotel

A concentration camp, detention facility, or prison used to house innocent people, especially children.

Prisoners are kept in cages, or in some cases tents in extreme heat. No contact with relatives is allowed. Children are occasionally injected with anti-psychotic medications to keep them sedated.

"The crying child was ripped from her mother's arms and taken to a cage in a Trump Hotel."

Published:6/26/2019 1:55:57 PM
[Comedy] The 10 best secrets, surprises and Easter eggs from ‘Toy Story 4’ Characters voiced by Keanu Reeves, Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key once shaped up very differently. Published:6/26/2019 12:53:12 AM
[Comedy] @BisHilarious The way me and your mom met? Oh, she saw a picture of me on Instagram and commented, “Who’s that zaddy” then the two eyes emojis fifteen times Published:6/25/2019 2:40:38 PM
[Comedy] fuct

The past tense of the verb fuck. Also used to express a general state of incapability.

We are so fuct!

She fuct me like a dog in heat!

That's fuct up!

(Rural definition) Hey maw, I just fuct yer best frind.

Published:6/25/2019 2:40:38 PM
[Comedy] ‘Evangelion’ is finally on Netflix. I don’t need a rewatch, because the trauma lives on in me. The controversial, influential anime has had its first global release. 2019 discourse: Meet your match. Published:6/25/2019 2:40:38 PM
[Comedy] TERF

Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. That group of feminists that claims that trans women aren't really women, as biological determinism is only a fallacy when it used against them, not when they use it against others.

Isn't it mindboggling that the Royal College of Psychiatrists would invite a TERF like Julie Bindel to come talk at a study day on transgenderism and transsexuality? That's like inviting Fred Phelps to come deliver the keynote at a gay pride.

Published:6/24/2019 2:09:19 AM
[Comedy] seck

A hypothetical singular form of the noun secks. A round of sexual intercourse is composed of infinitely many secks, much like the area under a curve in integral calculus is composed of infinitely many line segments. The use of "seck" is hypothetical because it is impossible to give or receive only one seck.

There are no examples of isolated secks because, while their existences are mathematically deducible, they are physically unobservable.

Published:6/23/2019 2:34:03 AM
[Comedy] Nothing but old-fashioned arcade fun in ‘My Friend Pedro’ Though it won't make you rethink your assumptions about video games, you're likely to be entertained by the game’s hypnotic game play loops. Published:6/21/2019 5:05:49 PM
[Comedy] @Gertie_Bird My long term goals include being able to go to a dinner party, glance at the piano and say “do you mind?” and absolutely shred. Published:6/21/2019 4:24:14 PM
[Comedy] Deeked

An abbreviation for "disqualified." Comes from the acronym DQ, and has been shortened to Deek.

"How did your race go?"
"Not well, I got deeked"

"Hey be careful on your start, they might deek you"

Published:6/21/2019 2:27:41 AM
[Comedy] How does ‘Toy Story 4’ rate among all Pixar sequels? Here are our rankings. The new movie aims to measure up against the other "Toy Story" sequels, as well as follow-ups for "The Incredibles," "Finding Nemo" and "Cars." Published:6/20/2019 1:52:17 PM
[Comedy] @aparnapkin sometimes i will read a paragraph in a book so good i have to put the book down and just think about it for a second like a wise old turtle Published:6/20/2019 7:16:40 AM
[Comedy] Why make ‘Toy Story 4’ after a satisfying trilogy? Here’s how the director found his inspiring answer. Josh Cooley began to focus on one character whose arc was far from complete. Published:6/19/2019 2:13:37 PM
[Comedy] In ‘Superman: Year One,’ Frank Miller and John Romita Jr. reimagine the hero as a Navy SEAL and the ‘ultimate immigrant’ The collaborators are tackling the Man of Steel's origin story in a new release. Published:6/19/2019 12:13:58 PM
[Comedy] drop dong

Letting it all hang out with your friends in natural outdoor hot springs. No clothing or swimsuits needed. When you drop dong with your best buds, your life will change.

We took a trip out into the mountains and went to drop dong and watch the sunrise over the snow capped peaks.

Published:6/19/2019 2:41:37 AM
[Comedy] @maggiesmithpoet How can this be wrong when it feels so right? Me, aloud to myself, as I open the cheese drawer in the fridge—again. Published:6/18/2019 9:37:00 AM
[Comedy] Cartoonists draw their fury toward the New York Times: ‘It seems we have touched a nerve here’ Ousted contributor Patrick Chappatte was overwhelmed by the response after the Times decided to cease all political cartoons. Published:6/18/2019 9:36:59 AM
[Comedy] grinfucking

grinfucking - the act of being (pretending to be) really nice to someone's face and then turning around and stabbing them in the back

past tense: "grinfucked"

related: "grinfucker" - one who commits such acts

Laura told me she loved my outfit, then told Mike I dressed like a whore; I can't believe she grinfucked me like that. What a grinfucker.

Published:6/15/2019 2:15:58 AM
[Comedy] Hinked Up

When an "alleged" criminal believes that the cops are after them, or when they have figured out that the cops know their whereabouts

Cop # 1- "Joey's brother called him to tell him we came by Joey is all hinked up"

Cop #2- "He was hinked up, and ran out of the back door before we could grab him"

Published:6/14/2019 2:47:57 AM
[Comedy] It might take a while to warm up to, but once you do ‘Outer Wilds’ is quite an adventure Finding the game bewildering at first is a testament to how well the game succeeds on its own terms. Published:6/13/2019 3:33:08 PM
[Comedy] @natasharothwell i’m “ooh, that’s a good towel” years old Published:6/13/2019 3:01:41 AM
[Comedy] Mukbang

"Mukbang" is an internet fad that finds viewers watching mukbangers binge eating copious amounts of food. This strange trend began in Korea in 2011. The term "mukbang" comes from a mix of two Korean words, "muk-ja" (eating) and "bang-song" (broadcasting). The most popular mukbang stars (also called 'BJs' for broadcast Jockeys) eat messy foods as they loudly slurp, chomp and display bad table manners.

I told my YouTube subscribers I would make thirty mukbang videos in thirty days, but I think that may be too many, so I will only do a mukbang every other day.

Published:6/13/2019 2:29:26 AM
[Comedy] The New York Times cuts all political cartoons, and cartoonists are not happy The Times says it will turn to longer-form, graphic-novel-style commentary. Cartoonists see the move as yet another sign that the editorial-cartoon industry is foundering. Published:6/11/2019 4:18:52 PM
[Comedy] Broflake

A man who thinks he's a "nice guy" and says he will "treat you like an actual humanbeing unlike other males". But if you reject him he says "you're missing out" or "weren't that pretty to begin with"

This broflake got mad at me when I told him women don't like it when men pitty themselves when they can't get a girl even though they are a "nice guy".

Published:6/11/2019 2:13:56 AM
[Comedy] We ranked the 12 X-Men movies from worst to best. Where does ‘Dark Phoenix’ fit in? No, "X-Men: The Last Stand" didn't make it to the top five. Published:6/7/2019 10:15:54 AM
[Comedy] @vibesofabeach "Wow ur so mature for ur age" thanks it was the trauma lol Published:6/6/2019 6:17:13 PM
[Comedy] @aarifah_l Your pornstar name is: Your first name + your last name Bc it’s you. You’re a hoe. Published:6/6/2019 4:39:43 PM
[Comedy] Cartoonist Matthew Inman will step away from the Oatmeal after his latest — and possibly final — book The Seattle-based creator says he's ready for a long hiatus. Published:6/6/2019 4:39:43 PM
[Comedy] The reign of Marvel Studios makes Fox’s ‘Dark Phoenix’ irrelevant, whether it’s good or not Fox's X-Men movie era comes to an end at a time when fans are probably ready for a new beginning with Marvel Studios. Published:6/6/2019 1:53:30 AM
[Comedy] Bend and Snap

A secret move that has a 98% success rate of getting a man's attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation. The attractor drops something on the floor and, with legs straight, bends down to pick up the object, then snaps up, pushing her chest out . Arm movement, to draw attention to the breasts, is NOT optional; it is, however, a common misconception.

"I think I dropped something on the floor that I need to pick up! So you bend... and snap."

"Oh my God, the bend and snap! Works every time!"

Published:6/4/2019 2:26:06 AM
[Comedy] @adult_mom The biggest problem with eating healthy is that I don’t wanna do that Published:6/2/2019 11:44:04 AM
[Comedy] fielding season

The opposite of cuffing season.
From late May to early September during which people like to keep it cool and play the field.

What happened to your boyfriend?
Bitchhhh it's fielding season!!

Published:6/2/2019 2:44:42 AM
[Comedy] deep-like

Going 'deep' into someone's content feed on Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / some other social network and liking a post / item / photo etc.

I could tell Cindy was into my Instagram when she deep-liked a photo I took from all the way back last summer.

Published:6/1/2019 2:14:45 AM
[Comedy] Do We Fight Fascism by Shutting Down Free Speech in Comedy Clubs? "Sometimes a platform is actually a gallows." Published:5/31/2019 2:33:17 PM
[Comedy] Like many VR games right now, ‘Blood & Truth’ coasts on its novelty It's hard to lose yourself in the game for any length of time because of issues that can keep you overly mindful of the controllers in your hands. Published:5/31/2019 7:32:31 AM
[Comedy] Beach Week

Week long fiesta taking place on, near, or around a beach. More of an east-coast tradition in which freshly graduated seniors travel to the beach to get belligerently hammered, hook up with chicks, and sun bathe.

This party is rediculous, this is like Beach Week before Beach Week.

Published:5/31/2019 2:31:49 AM
[Comedy] Hamster Angle

The angle of your face that your forward facing camera makes while in use so that you look like a hamster.

The more "chubby" the angle is, the more the angle makes you look chubby.

"And there I was, I accidentally called her and she saw me from a really chubby hamster angle"

Published:5/30/2019 2:24:01 AM
[Comedy] @karencheee "ah, the joy of meal-prepping!" - me, as i wrap up what's left of my burrito to eat later Published:5/29/2019 12:23:16 PM
[Comedy] As Stan Lee’s ex-caregiver is arrested, last year’s videos provide an illuminating lens on his elder-abuse case Keya Morgan, who shot the video last year, was taken in on a charge of being a fugitive of justice. Published:5/29/2019 12:23:15 PM
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