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[Comedy] Brexshitter

A derogatory term for people who voted to leave the EU in the UK's June 2016 EU membership referendum. Often seen on online comment sections and Facebook/Twitter.

"Well since the UK will be a bankrupt third-world country by the year 2020, perhaps you Brexshitters should be volunteering your taxes first since you caused this mess?" - Stereotypical rant by an obvious "Remain" voter.

Published:4/23/2019 2:08:12 AM
[Comedy] Going to see ‘Avengers: Endgame’? Here are the 5 must-watch movies to binge beforehand. Haven't seen the 21 Marvel Cinematic Universe films leading up to this moment? Watch these and you'll be ready. Published:4/22/2019 11:31:54 AM
[Comedy] Swooped

When a guy is at a party and is trying to get with a girl and another guy comes to the party and takes her

Charles: go get with Zarah!!
Jackson: No Bro arran already Swooped her

Published:4/22/2019 2:31:49 AM
[Comedy] hit the dip

to run away from a scene or person as fast as you possibly can

I hooked off on this dude and his boys saw me so i hit the dip and got the hell out of there.

Published:4/21/2019 2:23:46 AM
[Comedy] How next week’s New Yorker cover is a luminous tribute to Notre Dame Cathedral Art director chooses art through a personal lens: visual ties to her native Paris. Published:4/20/2019 5:20:40 PM
[Comedy] dip

1. v., to leave, depart
2. v., to place tobacco between the gums and lower lip
3. n., shortened form of "dipshit", i.e. a stupid, annoying, or displeasing person

You're a stupid dip, you know that!?

Published:4/20/2019 2:18:03 AM
[Comedy] Cartoonists skewer Barr and Trump amid release of Mueller report Satirists are accustomed to lampooning Trump, but their latest work reflects the degree to which many have found a new target in Barr. Published:4/19/2019 2:18:28 PM
[Comedy] @marysuewriter every time i see the phrase "b&b" i know i'm supposed to think of a bed and breakfast, but thanks to the internet my brain always defaults to "bungeons and bragons" Published:4/19/2019 9:44:15 AM
[Comedy] head change

the point at which one feels a definitive change in his or her behavior and equilibrium from the effects of a drug (most commonly in reference to marijuana)

nah, he's a heavyweight, he can blaze mad and not even get a head change

Published:4/19/2019 2:12:57 AM
[Comedy] @AlannaBennett Is New York culture it taking 3+ months of back and forth to gather 7 busy adults together for dinner when it's not an official birthday or party Published:4/18/2019 6:36:38 AM
[Comedy] mob it

leaving where ever your at with your "crew" or "mob".

kyleigh:hey dude this shits gay lets mob it.
everyone:alright man

Published:4/18/2019 2:17:23 AM
[Comedy] ‘Avengers: Endgame’ is a really big deal — for more reasons than you may think The new movie concludes an unprecedented run: the most successful Jenga game of interconnected films in Hollywood history. Published:4/17/2019 1:03:28 PM
[Comedy] Basic Bad Bitch

An 'edgy', delusional version of the basic bitch. "Live, laugh, love" posters are replaced with snarky t-shirts proclaiming her basic badness. Thinks her impulsive decision to by a cheetah print crotch-rocket is somehow less transparent than a middle-aged dude suddenly deciding he's a Harley guy.

A basic bad bitch is a basic bitch with heavier eyeliner.

Published:4/17/2019 2:32:48 AM
[Comedy] will it grow back

A desperate expression of hope.

When the nurse threw her finger in the bin, Nikki exclaimed in a desperate fashion "will it grow back?".

Published:4/16/2019 2:24:14 AM
[Comedy] How the Trayvon Martin tragedy led to Darrin Bell’s historical editorial cartooning Pulitzer Tragedy and family compelled the "Candorville" cartoonist to move into political cartooning, where he is believed to be the first African American artist to win the editorial cartooning Pulitzer. Published:4/15/2019 3:18:44 PM
[Comedy] ‘Hellboy’ is a stark reminder that not all comic-book movies do well at the box office Neil Marshall's trilogy reboot opened to a dismal $12 million. Published:4/15/2019 12:49:14 PM
[Comedy] @trumpetcake I dressed as a chimp for 4 years to win a woman's heart. Eventually I realized that disguising myself was a breech of trust and revealing myself would be a betrayal. I stayed a chimp 3 more years, contributing to important data she was collecting. I Published:4/12/2019 2:03:50 PM
[Comedy] ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ trailer: 6 takeways from the Star Wars Episode IX celebration Star Wars unveils "Episode IX" details. Published:4/12/2019 1:35:29 PM
[Comedy] gl2u

Good Luck To You.

The game is about to start, gl2u Jenny.

Published:4/12/2019 2:32:34 AM
[Comedy] ‘Yoshi’s Crafted World’ is capital ‘C’ cute It might primarily appeal to kids but adults should recognize that nothing this endearing can be accomplished without a lot of great work. Published:4/11/2019 2:28:55 PM
[Comedy] Daniel Dae Kim in ‘Hellboy’ is the rare happy ending for Hollywood’s whitewashing problem When the reboot of the comic-book film faced a whitewashing controversy, the Korean actor was part of the solution. Published:4/11/2019 6:26:18 AM
[Comedy] @LurkAtHomeMom Just threw my phone across the room bc it took more than 4 seconds for an image to load, how did we survive 1997 Published:4/10/2019 5:43:24 PM
[Comedy] 5 takeaways from the new ‘Lion King’ trailer, from a questionable Scar to heartfelt callbacks A new "Lion King" trailer has landed, and Pride Rock 2019 stirs nostalgia and gripes. Published:4/10/2019 12:17:58 PM
[Comedy] ‘Nancy’ and artist Olivia Jaimes continue to make the comics page ‘lit’ one year in Under a new creator, the eight-decade-old strip has enjoyed a 400 percent spike in online traffic — and nearly a doubling of newspaper sales. Published:4/9/2019 11:08:38 AM
[Comedy] The Triple B

otherwise known as "back burner bitch."
a name for someone who your group of friends doesnt particularly like to hang out with, but if you are alone and all other friends are busy, you call your "triple b" and they are always anxious and willing to hang out.

pretty much a friend who will always be a last resort and they have no idea.

bob: hey are we all hanging out tonight?!
fred: of course, is The Triple B coming?
fred: uh, no dude.
bob: thank god...

-a day later-

bob: hey mark! freds out of town, do you wanna come over and chill?

Published:4/6/2019 2:16:14 AM
[Comedy] ‘Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice’ is so challenging you might need to toss the controller aside and go for a long walk It's likely that all but the most committed players or those with ace gaming skills will not make it to the end. Published:4/5/2019 8:13:10 AM
[Comedy] With heart and humor, Zachary Levi says ‘Shazam!’ feels like ‘a very different type’ of DC movie Levi, Asher Angel and Mark Strong talk about making a superhero movie that balances fun with the darkness. Published:4/5/2019 5:08:29 AM
[Comedy] ttyfal

Talk to your fat ass later

Ali: Talk to you later princess.
Tish: ttyfal.

Published:4/5/2019 2:09:41 AM
[Comedy] pasted

Pasted is the state of consciousness when an individual is so stoned that they are literally unable to move, finding themselves pasted to the couch or their attention pasted to some form of entertainment like a movie, or a long series of Youtube videos.

I was so pasted last night I watched all of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia season 4.

Published:4/4/2019 2:32:44 AM
[Comedy] @annabroges modern friendship is texting "remind me of your address again" back and forth forever even though there's a space to save addresses right there in your contacts Published:4/3/2019 1:31:14 PM
[Comedy] How Joe Biden’s touching of women is being skewered by cartoonists (and Trump) The former vice president comes under satire's scrutiny as he weighs the 2020 race. Published:4/3/2019 12:58:17 PM
[Comedy] The new 'Joker’ trailer feels less like a comic-book movie and more like early Scorsese Think less "Suicide Squad" and more "The King of Comedy." Published:4/3/2019 11:32:24 AM
[Comedy] that's the move

That's what's up, or thats what we/i should do. Can also be said as "that's not the move"

"I just picked up a pound bro, let's slang it!"
"That's the move man"

Published:4/3/2019 2:33:55 AM
[Comedy] The ‘Avengers: Endgame’ trailers have given us absolutely nothing. And that’s just fine. The newest trailer, released the same day tickets went on sale, continues a trend of minimal information. Published:4/2/2019 12:22:13 PM
[Comedy] Press

To approach someone in a disrespectfull way or to confront someone and question them.

Kid #1: Yo i heard ant was talkin mad smack about you
Kid #2: aiight imma press him and find out if he was

Published:4/2/2019 2:18:59 AM
[Comedy] ‘Dumbo’ didn’t blow away the box office. Should Disney be concerned for its other remakes? Tim Burton's remake of the 1941 classic opened to only $45 million -- the lowest of the recent animation-to-live-action reimaginings. Published:4/1/2019 2:46:03 PM
[Comedy] brexit

A loud, drawn-out, angsty goodbye that interrupts the party; the opposite of an Irish goodbye

"I can't believe Olivia pulled such a brexit. Suddenly my birthday party was all about her."

Published:4/1/2019 2:49:06 AM
[Comedy] With the shits

Chicago slang, means to be in agreement with something

Are you with the shits tonight?
Yea dude

Published:3/31/2019 2:06:35 AM
[Comedy] Fetch

Stop trying to make it happen.
It's not going to happen.

"That's so fetch!"
"Shut up, Gretchen. Stop trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen."

Published:3/30/2019 2:32:36 AM
[Comedy] How Jordan Peele’s ‘The Twilight Zone’ plans to honor the original — but deliver a modern spin The revival premieres April 1, when the first two of the season’s 10 episodes become available on CBS All Access. Published:3/29/2019 7:28:54 AM
[Comedy] Spotify and Side Hug

A sad step below "Netflix and Chill", it's what you would do with some "bitch ass punk" you don't want to actually hang out with, let alone have sex with.

Guy: "Hey how about we go back to my place and we Netflix and Chill?"
Girl: "Ummm... How about we just "Spotify and Side Hug instead?"

Published:3/29/2019 2:24:12 AM
[Comedy] ’Tom Clancy’s The Division 2’ is a fun place to visit but you won’t want to live there It's not much more than a cornucopia of hyper-detailed shooting galleries. Published:3/28/2019 1:22:33 PM
[Comedy] hashtalker

A person under the influence of any substance that makes their ramblings sound like they are heavily under the influence of hash

I started talking to some wasted chick at a party. Wasn't sure what she was saying, but I realized she was a hashtalker

Published:3/28/2019 2:17:53 AM
[Comedy] @alyssalimp It’s crazy how when I was a teenager I was so intimidated by other teenagers but now that I’m older and wiser I’m like whaaaat why am I still so intimidated by teenagers Published:3/27/2019 7:46:33 PM
[Comedy] @Megatronic13 Is it really a Pinterest recipe if you didn’t learn about the author’s Italian lineage and how she met her 2nd husband? Published:3/27/2019 7:16:55 PM
[Comedy] mooseterbation

when you start to masterbate at 12:07 and 43 sec a.m. while watching Animal Planet in your Aunt's bedroom.

Dude 1: Dude last night's mooseterbation lasted for 3 hours straight last night
Dude 2: Was it good?
Dude 1: Heck Yes
Trisha: Sick freaks

Published:3/27/2019 2:42:15 AM
[Comedy] egirl

an egirl is a species of emo usually found on tiktok but commonly spends time on tumblr. can be found wearing pink eyeshadow with a large wing, little hearts under the eyes and a blushed nose. normally wearing some type of shirt from urban outfitters over a longsleeve striped shirt. commonly found doing the me!me!me! dance but has probably never seen it before.

did you see that egirl doing a ahegao face unironically??

yeah man

Published:3/26/2019 2:09:50 AM
[Comedy] eboy

A boy that probably skates, has his nails painted w rings, wears beanies, maybe has a cute egirl girlfriend, always wearing vans and long sleeves or hoodies under tshirts, their hair is sometimes parted down the middle. They basically only exist on the internet unfortunately but we can still appreciate them on instagram:(


eboys: “I listen to brockhampton and lil peep??????”

Published:3/25/2019 2:32:25 AM
[Comedy] Diffing

When a group of knob heads gather to wreck their cars by spinning around in circles, usually done by joy riders from west belfast and little boys who think twin (tin) cams and old beemers as old as the hills are cool

diffing - does she go round mister..

Published:3/24/2019 2:24:28 AM
[Comedy] ‘Shazam!’ is DC’s most fun superhero film After failing with "Justice League," Warner Bros. and DC Entertainment finally get a sense of humor. Published:3/23/2019 5:50:49 PM
[Comedy] @unofficialish dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside n they want em Published:3/23/2019 11:49:33 AM
[Comedy] love puff

A silent fart released whilst in bed with your partner, that you were hoping wouldn't smell, but does. By calling it a 'love puff', you hope to maintain some level of cuteness and overcome the curse of the bad smell that threatens to ruin an otherwise romantic moment.

'Oh, whoopsy! I did a little love puff!'

Published:3/23/2019 2:18:02 AM
[Comedy] Cerebral Assassin

A description for one who has superior intellect and utilizes their abilities to outwit any opponent in a competition.

In January 2000, W.W.E. professional wrestler, Triple H, (Hunter Hearst Helmsley) had dubbed himself "The Cerebral Assassin", which implied that he was simply smarter than the other wrestlers.

Published:3/22/2019 4:04:20 PM
[Comedy] Published:3/21/2019 10:01:48 AM
[Comedy] belfie

a 'bottom selfie' - a photographic self-portrait featuring the buttocks, usually posted by female celebrities on social media networks.

"Cheryl Cole joins Kelly Brook and Kim Kardashian by sharing a rose-tinted 'belfie' " …from the 'Daily Heil', 23 October 2013

Published:3/21/2019 10:01:46 AM
[Comedy] @jiatolentino A brief survey of my own text messages is making me wonder if I'm gonna talk like this forever. Like am I going to be 90 years old schlepping my walker around the nursing home & poking my head into friends rooms like "hello my good bitch, the edi Published:3/20/2019 9:01:15 AM
[Comedy] The ‘Toy Story 4’ trailer has left us with four important questions The music — and return of Bo Peep — stirs a range of emotions. Published:3/19/2019 4:25:34 PM
[Comedy] The 10 best moments of ‘Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,’ on- and off-screen The Academy Award-winning film is available on home video Tuesday. Published:3/19/2019 5:22:52 AM
[Comedy] James Gunn is rehired to direct Disney/Marvel’s ‘Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3’ The franchise filmmaker was fired last summer over old, offensive tweets. Published:3/15/2019 3:01:29 PM
[Comedy] @radioheadass nothing will show you how little you know about yourself than having to write a bio in the third person Published:3/15/2019 10:30:04 AM
[Comedy] @ethiopienne need somebody to come crack my back like a glow stick and then dunk my whole body into a hot spring like it's a bag of lipton Published:3/15/2019 9:30:48 AM
[Comedy] ‘Ape Out’ is a wild, percussion-driven romp The reviewer enjoyed so much he let loose an “Amen!” when the final credits splashed across the screen and the music crashed in. Published:3/14/2019 9:54:12 AM
[Comedy] On ice

Just chillin'

Person 1: what you doin tonight?

Person 2: I'm on ice

Published:3/14/2019 2:20:47 AM
[Comedy] Sen. Patrick Leahy was in 5 Batman movies. Now he’s written the foreword for the superhero’s 80th anniversary. The lifelong fan of the Caped Crusader "couldn't resist the opportunity." Published:3/13/2019 2:49:24 PM
[Comedy] @annabroges today in incredible power moves, my homegoods cashier sniffed each of my candles as she rung them up and nodded or shook her head after each one. Published:3/13/2019 11:17:44 AM
[Comedy] Keep It Player

To not let anything bother you or irritate you, keep it moving; dont dwell, do what you need to do for you

"Did you get that girl's number?"

"Naw she said she had a boyfriend, its coo gotta keep it player"

"All i do is Keep It Player"

Published:3/13/2019 2:14:38 AM
[Comedy] Rate

Rate is slang used by UK people or roadmen to mean like

Yeah Fam I {rate] that still
Naaah I don't rate him

Published:3/12/2019 2:10:59 AM
[Comedy] ‘Captain Marvel’s’ huge opening weekend defies the trolls — and sets the stage for more female-led superhero films Marvel Studios's first solo female film grosses nearly a half-billion dollars worldwide in its debut. Published:3/11/2019 4:06:22 PM
[Comedy] Promposal

(n)- a proposal from one person asking another person to the prom; is the combination of the words "prom" and "proposal."

Jake: I'm thinking about how I'll do my promposal...
Sean: Who're you going to ask?
Jake: Well, I haven't decided yet.
Sean: You have to decide before you ask someone to prom!

Published:3/9/2019 2:21:57 AM
[Comedy] ‘Devil May Cry 5’ is potent screen candy It’s not very nourishing but it's likely to satisfy a specific craving. Published:3/8/2019 1:18:45 PM
[Comedy] ‘The Simpsons’ pulls Michael Jackson episode, citing child abuse allegations in HBO documentary After seeing "Leaving Neverland," the show's executive producer says it was a clear decision to pull the 1991 episode. Published:3/8/2019 9:47:13 AM
[Comedy] uglyhot

A person who is in no way, shape or form conventionally attractive but everything they do, how they talk, how they walk and the way they move is so incredibly hot that it makes them somehow better looking. Is still centered on physicality, but is more about how they use their body/body language than their ugly faces. Coined for my former high school Chemistry teacher; are often tall, gangly and interesting men like Chris Martin from Coldplay.

"Oh look at that gangly, odd looking, very hot strutting guy over there!"

"He's not hot, he's uglyhot."

"Yeah, and uglyhots are incredibly rare, so I'd totally do him."

Published:3/8/2019 2:14:52 AM
[Comedy] Tartle

A common Scottish term to insert at the awkward moment when you temporarily forget someone's name. Useful to avoid that occasional embarrassment.

Steve: Hi, Susan!
Susan: Hi . . . uhhhhhh . . . Steve! Sorry, I tartled there for a moment.

Published:3/7/2019 2:09:55 AM
[Comedy] @alicewetterlund To be clear, when I search for a recipe online what I’m REALLY looking for is a lengthy, detailed memoir of a basic woman’s journey to get the best version of said recipe, and if there’s not three jokes about wine or licking the spoon per paragraph I Published:3/6/2019 10:06:06 AM
[Comedy] BIPOC

Black/Indigenous People of Color

BIPOC don't have to be nice to you when you're threatening their existence. Support and amplify BIPOC. ????????????????

Published:3/6/2019 2:04:15 AM
[Comedy] ‘Captain Marvel’ is just higher, faster and further enough in her Marvel Studios debut Long overdue, Marvel Studios’ first female-led superhero movie is super slow at times, but on point. Published:3/5/2019 12:29:47 PM
[Comedy] trophy minority

Typically a white person's one black friend, who they are so proud to know and tend to mention as though they won some kind of prize.

We hung out for a while before I realized I was just a trophy minority.

Published:3/5/2019 2:27:20 AM
[Comedy] Crine

Being a cry baby 24/7

Hooter is always crine

Published:3/4/2019 2:20:29 AM
[Comedy] @mostephlove In case you're wondering if kids do mimic parents, my kid picked up her toy laptop, said she was looking for bathing suits, and after a few minutes closed it and said she couldn't find anything she liked. Published:3/2/2019 4:42:07 PM
[Comedy] Banana Etiquette

If you get a banana, you have to ask every person who's in your vicinty if they would like a banana.

James Clement has bad banana etiquette because in his world, if his ass is hungry, he'll go get a banana. He will get four going to a challenge and three coming back without asking or sharing.

Published:3/2/2019 2:08:51 AM
[Comedy] ‘Anthem’ provides flashes of high quality action but is hobbled by flaws It's a game that seems unconsciously engineered to sniff out if someone leans toward a glass half-empty or a glass half-full point of view. Published:3/1/2019 1:10:03 PM
[Comedy] Trolls target female-led blockbusters. Ahead of ‘Captain Marvel,’ Rotten Tomatoes shut them down. The review aggregation Website tweaked its system to ensure that "bad actors" who target movies featuring women and people of color don't sabotage ratings. Published:2/28/2019 4:34:06 PM
[Comedy] blues and twos

emergency vehicle status; British emergency vehicles have blue flashing lights and two-tone sirens

the ambulance left in a hurry with blues and twos.

Published:2/28/2019 2:26:35 AM
[Comedy] Pretendonitis

A made up injury to get out of doing something

Jayce didn’t feel like practicing soccer so he told the coach he had pretendonitis

Published:2/27/2019 2:19:50 AM
[Comedy] Emma Thompson releases blunt letter about ex-Pixar chief John Lasseter Thompson departed a film project at Skydance Animation because the studio had hired Lasseter, who has been accused of sexual harassment. Published:2/26/2019 12:55:11 PM
[Comedy] The Tea is so hot

When gossip gets really juicy

person 1: Dude did you hear about that celebrity scandal?
person 2: OMG yes

person 1: Man, the tea is so hot that it just burned through my cup
person 2: LMAO

Published:2/26/2019 2:14:49 AM
[Comedy] A cartoonist added Jussie Smollett to the list of ‘Famous African-American Storytellers.’ The backlash was swift. The San Diego Union-Tribune removed the cartoon, which put the "Empire" actor's image alongside Toni Morrison and James Baldwin. Published:2/25/2019 3:11:13 PM
[Comedy] ‘How to Train Your Dragon' 3 revisits empowering depictions embraced by amputees "Hidden World" director Dean DeBlois revels in costumed amputees who have embraced Hiccup, the Viking hero who wears a prosthesis. Published:2/23/2019 5:00:17 PM
[Comedy] ‘Metro Exodus’ values atmosphere and exploration as much as action In this this is an expertly paced, first-person shooter expeditions into dangerous surroundings are contrasted with warm moments shared between companions. Published:2/21/2019 12:18:12 PM
[Comedy] Weekend immune system

Another way of saying drunk and/or hungover. Owing to alcohols ability to suppress the immune system and the fact that it is usually drunk in largest quantities on the weekend.

Ugh yeah I'm not going to be able to come in to work today, I have a weekend immune system

Published:2/21/2019 2:15:26 AM
[Comedy] Emma Thompson quits movie after studio hires ex-Pixar chief John Lasseter The Oscar-winning actress was set to perform in Skydance Animation's "Luck," scheduled for release in 2021. Published:2/20/2019 4:13:57 PM
[Comedy] How ‘Bitter Root,’ a Harlem Renaissance comic by an all-black creative team, came to be The fourth issue of the Image Comics series arrives in print and digitally Wednesday. Published:2/20/2019 2:45:00 PM
[Comedy] RTWT

Read The Whole Thread

Chris -*commenting the exact same thing as five people previously*
Pat - "RTWT!"

Published:2/20/2019 2:09:11 AM
[Comedy] @BeeBabs We really had to take selfies with the phone flipped back and not knowing what we looked like until like 2 seconds afterwards. Gen Z will never understand. That's why we r tough Published:2/19/2019 5:37:21 PM
[Comedy] ‘Punisher’ and ‘Jessica Jones’ lose their battle in the war between Netflix and Disney The last of the canceled Marvel/Netflix superhero series point to this year's rise of the Disney+ streaming service. Published:2/19/2019 3:35:40 PM
[Comedy] @MacgyveringM22 [kids are finally asleep] “Holy fuck, I need to clean this house” *pours giant glass of wine and sits down for the night* Published:2/19/2019 9:36:13 AM
[Comedy] sadcited

sad-cited | sad-sit-ed

(of emotional affect) a deep conflict between an ending and beginning.

After spending a week with René, I'm sadcited to go home.

Published:2/19/2019 2:32:56 AM
[Comedy] snowffeur

The individual who drives you around in inclement weather. Maybe be used because you lack winter driving skills, a road-worthy vehicle or if you prefer to get picked up at the curb by a warm car that's already had all the windows scraped.

My husband will be picking me up from work today so I'm not too worried about the snow. He's such a nice snowffeur!

Published:2/18/2019 2:27:25 AM
[Comedy] Slept like a baby

to sleep infrequently in short spurts and at the most inconvenient times, followed by a big mess in their pants

Correct usage in a sentence: "man, I slept like a baby." response: "well that explains the smell. Sorry about that buddy. Better luck next time."

Published:2/17/2019 2:20:57 AM
[Comedy] @AbbyHasIssues I correctly lined up the two sides of a Ziploc bag on the first try I’ve never felt more drunk with power. Published:2/16/2019 2:48:52 PM
[Comedy] Sad coma

When you are so sad that you cannot move

Your friend calls you a liar and you become so sad you're in a sad coma

Published:2/16/2019 2:17:47 AM
[Comedy] Caonima

Means either "grass mud horse" or "fuck your mother" depending on which signs you use to write it in Chinese. Due to Chinas strong Internet censorship you can't write the line as "fuck your mother", but it's fine if you mean "grass mud horse".


Published:2/15/2019 2:09:01 AM
[Comedy] No surprises in ‘Crackdown 3,’ a by-the-numbers disappointment “Crackdown 3” feels like a remnant from another console-era, a time in which open-world games were still a novelty. Published:2/14/2019 9:38:14 PM
[Comedy] @cristela9 I’ve been told I need to draw up my will. It’s really hard but I don’t want my family fighting over my Bed Bath and Beyond coupons that never expire, my lifelong soy sauce packets from takeout Chinese and my Target plastic bags I use for trash bags. Published:2/14/2019 2:27:21 AM
[Comedy] Airpods

Apple makes these earbuds without wires for people who can't afford the wire.

Girl: Did you see Devin's airpods, that's so hot.

Boy: That's not hot, he can't afford the wire.

Published:2/14/2019 2:27:19 AM
[Comedy] A cartoonist hid a vulgar anti-Trump message in his comic strip. This paper isn’t laughing. The Butler Eagle said the decision to revoke the comic had more to do with profanity than politics. Published:2/11/2019 12:48:42 PM
[Comedy] @karencheee As a millennial I feel most represented when I see a character on TV who looks tired for no apparent reason Published:2/10/2019 10:43:31 AM
[Comedy] A cartoonist drew a touching tribute to his dying dog. His readers gave him an outpouring of sympathy. Stephan Pastis's syndicate has announced its most commented-upon comic of 2018: a rare personal tale of mourning in "Pearls Before Swine." Published:2/8/2019 2:59:50 PM
[Comedy] Cartoonists aren’t buying Trump’s call for unity at the State of the Union Many pundits heard the familiar strains of partisan divisiveness. Published:2/7/2019 12:24:12 PM
[Comedy] ‘Sunless Skies’ is a majestically cruel game The game can keep its players huddled before their monitors waiting for the next calamity. But in a good way. Published:2/7/2019 10:23:20 AM
[Comedy] edgelord

Someone, especially posting on the internet, who uses shocking and nihilistic speech and opinions that they themselves may or may not actually believe to gain attention and come across as a more dangerous and unique person. Most Edgelords are teenagers trying to seem overly cool and/or over-casually apathetic.

"The human race is a blight upon the world, what's wrong with all you people? Honestly I'm just waiting for the next plague to happen," -Johnny Edge

" Oh shut the hell up you whiny edgelord" -Johnny Everyone

Published:2/7/2019 2:21:19 AM
[Comedy] @simoncholland Every kid’s backpack smells like pencil shavings and fruit punch. Published:2/6/2019 3:48:28 PM
[Comedy] @etienneshrdlu “Poor grown-ups, if they didn’t have any coffee they’d be crying” - my daughter’s withering assessment of adult life Published:2/6/2019 10:49:51 AM
[Comedy] How cartoonists are portraying Va. Gov. Ralph Northam’s fate amid racist photo controversy "Candorville" creator Darrin Bell depicts the Democratic donkey telling a hooded, Confederacy-labeled Republican elephant to step back. Published:2/5/2019 12:41:02 PM
[Comedy] The 5 best Super Bowl trailers for geeks, from Avengers to ‘The Twilight Zone’ Here was the biggest winner to take the field Sunday night. Published:2/4/2019 11:37:23 AM
[Comedy] coonman

Someone who does not like black people.

"Yo, Coonman, you done beatin' on them negroes?"

Published:2/3/2019 2:28:57 AM
[Comedy] @hellolanemoore just got in a fight w/ my crush who was not present at the time of the fight bc i played the whole thing out in my head anyway crush ended Published:2/2/2019 6:25:33 PM
[Comedy] Netflix’s ‘The Umbrella Academy’ is even weirder than the comic. It’s an absolute must see. The new show is based on the Dark Horse Comics series by Gerard Way and Gabriel Bá. Published:2/1/2019 5:16:31 AM
[Comedy] Bedicine

When all you need to get better is time in your bed.

After 12 hours of bedicine my sickness for work had left.

Published:2/1/2019 2:15:59 AM
[Comedy] Leaving Batman behind is the best thing that could happen to Ben Affleck The actor just confirmed he's hanging up the cape and cowl. At last, he can rejoin the ranks of our best directors of thrillers. Published:1/31/2019 1:13:31 PM
[Comedy] ’Kingdom Hearts 3’ has a baffling backstory but is a treat for fans of Disney and Pixar The series has accumulated enough knotty storylines to make studying a summary of the events a bit of a chore but the game’s core combat mechanics are a delight. Published:1/31/2019 11:12:21 AM
[Comedy] disadulation

n. Excessive abuse or criticism

A word created by applying the prefix dis-, meaning the opposite of, to the noun adulation, meaning excessive flattery or admiration.

Dwight: Three demerits and you will receive a citation.

Jim: Now that sounds serious.

Dwight: Oh it is serious. Five citations and you're looking at a violation. Four of those, and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up, and you're looking at a written warning. Two of those, that'll land you in a world of hurt: in the form of a disciplinary review, written up by me and placed on the desk of my immediate superior.

Jim: Which would be me.

Dwight: ..... That is correct.

Jim: Okay, I want a copy on my desk by the end of the day or you will receive a full disadulation.

Dwight: What's a dis- ... what's that?

Jim: Oh, you don't wanna know.

Published:1/31/2019 2:09:19 AM
[Comedy] Howard Schultz’s big presidential dreams, as lampooned by cartoons The Starbucks billionaire's potential presidential race draws fire. Published:1/30/2019 4:37:04 PM
[Comedy] One of the greatest Superman tales finally gets a proper adaptation with ‘Reign of the Supermen’ The animated movie succeeds where other superman movies have failed. Published:1/30/2019 10:35:39 AM
[Comedy] AYFKM?

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

Positive: They're gonna have fireworks AND barbeque, AYFKM?

Negative: You started today and you're telling me what to do? AYFKM?

Published:1/30/2019 2:11:52 AM
[Comedy] Being both an adult and a comics fan has long gone hand in hand Bill Maher’s recent claim — that comics aren’t for adults — comes across as a head-scratcher. Published:1/29/2019 12:30:17 PM
[Comedy] forrest trump

An unintelligent person who believes that he can hold a position of power.

We have a forrest trump in the White House; he tweeted that the Cohen indictment "cleared me."

Published:1/29/2019 2:38:50 AM
[Comedy] ITMFA

Impeach the mother fucker already (meaning: DJT)
Frequently used on Twitter, just type: #ITMFA.

'I have enough of the gas lighting and reverse narratives... ITMFA !'

Published:1/28/2019 4:14:13 AM
[Comedy] Slay King

When a male dresses better than everyone around him

Girl#1:Look Derrick is a slay King

Girl#2: Yass he is cute as fuck slayyyy king!!!! All the way

Published:1/26/2019 2:10:40 AM
[Comedy] @ledbettercarly I don't mean to brag, but I just did all five of my dishes IMMEDIATELY after cooking and eating. IMMEDIATELY. Published:1/25/2019 9:34:05 AM
[Comedy] Buffet squirrel

One who secretly packs away items from a buffet into a bag, purse, or satchel for later consumption.

Caleb was eying the plate of chocolate croissants before the last of them were emptied into the purse of the buffet squirrel .

Published:1/25/2019 2:33:35 AM
[Comedy] Dump O' Clock

A time (preferably during work hours) when one uses the bathroom to drop their load (or just look up memes on the internet).

Kami: "Chris has gone missing!"
Tim: "It must be Dump O' Clock."

Published:1/24/2019 2:27:01 AM
[Comedy] skinful

an amount of alcohol that is enough to make a person drunk:

By ten o'clock he'd had a skinful.

Published:1/23/2019 2:26:18 AM
[Comedy] @ch000ch gonna be an idiot piece of shit for halloween this year oh wow look already dressed Published:1/22/2019 1:17:12 PM
[Comedy] @DVSblast so called "PC" culture has ruined entertainment. can u imagine beloved character "Racism Man" existing today? surely not. theyd have to change his name to "Avocados Man" Published:1/22/2019 8:15:55 AM
[Comedy] Dog Walk

When you’re beating someone’s ass and you’re dragging them as if you were walking a dog.

“Ima dog walk yo ass if you keep talkin shit!”

“He got dog walked in that fight last night.”

Published:1/22/2019 2:17:44 AM
[Comedy] @Kristen_Arnett good morning to everyone but especially the woman in 7-eleven who whispered “fill ‘er up” as she poured coke AND coffee into the same big gulp cup Published:1/21/2019 1:42:04 PM
[Comedy] all your base are belong to us

1. An exclamation of superiority
2. Phrase exclaimed when the opposite team/opponent is pwned or defeated.
3. Phrase taken from Zero Wing, a poorly translated Japanese-to-English video game, in which the character Cats exclaims.

1. Haha you guys suck! All your base are belong to us!
2. We won! We won! Your bases are ours! All of them! All your base are belong to us!!
3. Play Zero Wing and see.

Published:1/21/2019 2:08:14 AM
[Comedy] colludy

The act or predisposition to act in a collusive manner.
The willingness to cheat or sneak around to obtain something of value.

Trump and his cohorts acted in a colludy manner towards the Russians.

Published:1/20/2019 2:36:25 AM
[Comedy] @kashanacauley When you’re at a party and you spend four hours unsure how to leave, that’s called a Brexit. Published:1/19/2019 3:00:28 PM
[Comedy] Clout Shark

The act of chasing,pursuit of,or questing for clout

Yo bro you really a clout Shark for shouting your self out on my media

Published:1/19/2019 2:28:59 AM
[Comedy] Posteriority

Derives from Posterior and Posterity

Posteriority is what you end up with when you have your colonoscopy recorded in HD. Your posterior is now indelibly recorded for posterity and may end up being the butt of many jokes..

Published:1/18/2019 2:20:38 AM
[Comedy] government shitdown

In a shithole (shithouse) country under one party rule, but where the ruling party somehow can't avoid a government shutdown.

To celebrate the first anniversary of of the Trump Presidency, the Republicans led the US to a government shitdown.

Published:1/17/2019 2:18:20 AM
[Comedy] @TheCatWhisprer Most things I scold my preschooler for saying are also things I secretly want to fist bump her for saying. Published:1/16/2019 7:39:07 AM
[Comedy] Rooster clawed

When someone scratches someone else with their toenail.

“Ahhh! You fucking rooster clawed me again! Trim your disgusting toe nails you lazy asshole.”

Published:1/16/2019 2:12:33 AM
[Comedy] Stan

Stan means you look up to that person, you watch them or you truly love their content. It's another word for saying you idolize someone or something. You would say, "I stan _____" instead of I "I love that person"

"We stan legends only" "We stan"

"we stan noiz"

Published:1/15/2019 2:33:46 AM
[Comedy] Trendetarian

A person that cuts a certain food out of their diet because of a trend

Jessica became a trendetarian because her favourite magazine told her gluten is bad.

Published:1/14/2019 2:25:50 AM
[Comedy] hatfishing

When someone on a dating site wears a hat in all their pictures to conceal the fact that they are bald.

This guy is wearing either a cowboy hat or a bandana in every picture. I think he is hatfishing me. He said to send a selfie so I texted him a picture of Betty White.

Published:1/13/2019 2:19:28 AM
[Comedy] doing the most

when a person does way more than is required from the situation.

The English word for "doing the most" is: "Supererogation" which is defined as; "the act of performing more than is required by duty, obligation, or need"

Dude 1: Did you hear John did today's homework and tomorrow's homework?
Dude 2: Yeah, John is always trying to impress the teacher, so he's always doing the most.

If you want to be fancy
Dude 2: Yes, John tries to impress the teacher, but doing homework which has not be assigned amounts to supererogation.

Published:1/12/2019 2:13:13 AM
[Comedy] @KentWGraham Just listed my wife as my emergency contact and added the note “please text, she doesn’t answer calls.” Published:1/11/2019 9:08:31 AM
[Comedy] memewashed

Overexposure of memes to the point that your worldview changes.

I liked so many fitness groups on facebook that now I've been memewashed into working out.

Published:1/11/2019 2:07:48 AM
[Comedy] @karencheee Shazam but for which of my 3 fun anecdotes I've already shared with this person Published:1/10/2019 11:10:35 PM
[Comedy] collecting receipts

taking screenshots/pictures/video/any form of footage or audio to be used against someone. like when an lawyer provides evidence in court.

"Girl, I was collecting receipts on what's going on between her and Bob."
"Oooooh, I want to see!"

Published:1/10/2019 2:01:01 AM
[Comedy] Malignant humor

A joke/meme that's so bad it will kill you.

This minion meme is pure soccer mom malignant humor.

Published:1/9/2019 2:24:50 AM
[Comedy] Blue Flu

The cop's version of going on strike. Since they can't legally strike they all call in sick.

When the city threatened to reduce pensions, the NYPD came down with a bad case of the blue flu.

Published:1/8/2019 2:21:58 AM
[Comedy] @morninggloria It should be okay to boo people at the airport Published:1/4/2019 5:26:22 AM
[Comedy] @quintabrunson In order to me be more honest with myself and others, I have started typing “ha” or “chuckled slightly” instead of “lmao” or “lol.” So far I have lost several friends and have been blocked by the rest. Published:1/2/2019 4:47:21 PM
[Comedy] @quintabrunson I just worked out where is my award please Published:1/2/2019 10:15:42 AM
[Comedy] love tumor

An idiomatic phrase referring to a newly found affection toward a person that could lead to true love.

She grew a love tumor just meeting him for the first time

Published:1/2/2019 2:14:25 AM
[Comedy] Bibbity Bobbity Bacon

The act of adding bacon or bacon bits to other foods

Not interested in this salad? Well then Bibbity Bobbity Bacon,I just made it an entrée.

Published:1/1/2019 2:09:00 AM
[Comedy] @pangmeli my whole life feels like I just walked into a cafe and sat down with a drink only to find out they're closing in 10 minutes Published:12/31/2018 7:33:06 AM
[Comedy] Love that for you

Just something cringey that Australian white girls say being sarcastic.

It is used instead of saying “Love that”.

“I fell down the stairs”

“Love that for you”
Please kill me I wanna die

Published:12/31/2018 2:31:54 AM
[Comedy] @sbellelauren people who pour ketchup on fries instead of dipping fries into ketchup should be prosecuted i don’t want to hear another word about it they are monsters Published:12/28/2018 10:16:44 AM
[Comedy] @AbbyHasIssues On HGTV they can flip a house in a month and I've been "getting ready to dust" for the past two weeks. Published:12/25/2018 9:57:19 AM
[Comedy] Marginal

Word describing a friend that is a taker and not a giver - someone that never shows up or pays for a tab or helps in any way. Not a true friend.

Thanks for showing at my birthday party marginal...I really appreciate it.

Russ is so marginal - jackass got drunk and missed dinner tonight - what the hell?

Published:12/25/2018 2:26:46 AM
[Comedy] @Luvvie One day, you look in your cabinets and there's no tupperware. The next day, somehow, tupperware is so plentiful, it falls out when you open the cabinet door. And you realize you have too much tupperware and you don't know where they came from. Adulth Published:12/21/2018 12:35:49 PM
[Comedy] reply guy

1. A man who behaves in an overly familiar way and is always replying to the social media messages of a woman he doesn't know or is barely acquainted with.

2. An annoying man who replies to social media messages, in general - whether this annoyance is due to a perceived know-it-all attitude, excessive familiarity, banal arguments that the annoyed user doesn't feel compelled to reply to again and again, or violation of some imagined pecking order.

Mental health improves 120% when reply guys are blocked or muted

Published:12/21/2018 2:33:15 AM
[Comedy] @pangmeli the fuck are you honking at me for??? you're flying around in a climate controlled invincibility chariot while I'm out here on my hind legs propelling myself through unfiltered space one step at a time with only my muscles I don't give a SHIT about y Published:12/19/2018 12:10:00 PM
[Comedy] Pilot Lighting

To use social media for the purpose of attracting potential mates while still in a relationship through the use of scandalous photos.

Similar to how a pilot light remains ready to ignite the furnace at all times.

Dude, did you see that chicks Instagram, she’s totally pilot lighting her boyfriend.

Published:12/19/2018 2:38:43 AM
[Comedy] Lets gain this grain

Another term for "lets get this bread" meaning grain=bread=money also grain can literally be anything

*Going to go get anything*:lets gain this grain!!!

Published:12/18/2018 2:26:51 AM
[Comedy] rat

Someone who tells the cops vital information that leads to an arrest of another person

that nigga cody ratted on joe we should fuck him up

Published:12/17/2018 2:23:48 AM
[Comedy] @Eden_Eats I hate it when baby boomers are like "your generation is too sensitive!". Like ok, Gail, I'm not the one writing 8 paragraph Yelp reviews because the restaurant was painted a color you didn't like. Published:12/16/2018 4:52:12 PM
[Comedy] bean hole

The slot in a cell door in jail or prison in which to pass food, mail or other items through.

Prisoner: Pass my food through the bean hole, man. I'm hungry.

Published:12/16/2018 2:14:26 AM
[Comedy] Fronking

Someone who farts in the bath tub and the bites the bubbles; can be more than one person biting each other's bubbles

Bob and Jim were fronking in the pool. Bob and Jim are fronks.

Published:12/15/2018 2:10:23 AM
[Comedy] @Eden_Eats My neighbors are so friendly that I'm sitting in my car waiting for them to go inside so I don't have to talk to them. Published:12/14/2018 2:34:42 PM
[Comedy] Millennial Promotion

When you get more responsibility at work but no raise.

Person 1- "Oh wow Daves the supervisor now"

Person 2- "Yeah but he still makes the same as us"

Person 1- " Ha, looks like he got a millennial promotion"

Published:12/14/2018 2:02:17 AM
[Comedy] Miles Morales is a Spider-Man who’s biracial like me. So why wasn’t I more excited for his movie? I was skeptical of the animated “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” -- until I actually saw it. Published:12/13/2018 3:59:49 PM
[Comedy] Trump says he’d be ‘proud’ of a government shutdown this Christmas. Cartoons are taking him to task. A recent Oval Office meeting spurs a wave of satire. Published:12/13/2018 11:00:34 AM
[Comedy] ‘Gris’ is one of the most visually striking games of this or any other year. The game's visual style was shaped by Conrad Roset who came to the project from the art world. Published:12/13/2018 8:28:32 AM
[Comedy] nano-dosing

Using utra small dosages not to trigger a psychotropic effect

We didn't want to get high or feel out of sorts, so we took turns nano-dosing

Published:12/13/2018 2:25:37 AM
[Comedy] @kpfeffss I took an uber alone at 2am and when I got out my uber driver was like “have fun, get that dick!” and I said “hell yes thank you!!” because I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was being dropped at my moms house cause we have to wake up early to cel Published:12/12/2018 1:51:41 PM
[Comedy] Is ‘Aquaman’ a fun, campy superhero movie — or ‘a parody’ that doesn’t quite work? The reviews are in. Visual wizardry and star Jason Momoa's flexed charisma help offset the klunky script, say critics. Published:12/12/2018 11:51:11 AM
[Comedy] smocking

The way you spell smoking after you become President of The United States.

"Democrats can’t find a Smocking Gun tying the Trump campaign to Russia."

Published:12/12/2018 2:18:57 AM
[Comedy] ‘Aquaman’ is one of DC’s best superhero films Director James Wan and star Jason Momoa have given Warner Bros. and DC Entertainment a much-needed boost. Published:12/11/2018 1:15:16 PM
[Comedy] Who dare enter Trump’s chief of staff role? These cartoons warn of the dangers of taking the job. The job may be tougher to fill than Oscars host. Published:12/11/2018 11:16:35 AM
[Comedy] smocking

Smocking is body painting for sexual gratification.

While the majority of body painting is done for artistic reasons, smockers belong to the subgroup that's just interested in getting their kicks. Normally either a negative or playful context, smockers aren't generally considered artists.

She thinks he wants to use her as the canvas for his next masterpiece, but he's just smocking.

Published:12/11/2018 2:13:54 AM
[Comedy] ‘Aquaman’ was the biggest film in the world this past weekend — despite opening in only one country "Aquaman" grossed a whopping $93.6 million in China. Published:12/10/2018 11:08:25 AM
[Comedy] ‘Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse’ is a stunning animated achievement that lives up to the hype All of a sudden, Sony's Spider-Man movie universe sans Marvel Studios is on a winning streak. Published:12/10/2018 6:14:36 AM
[Comedy] @thedad When my daughter gets to be old enough to drive, I’m not going to tell her what to do from the passenger seat like all the other anxious parents. I’m going to sit in the backseat and kick the back of the chair the whole time because it’s payback time Published:12/9/2018 8:04:55 PM
[Comedy] @rachsyme remember when you were little and your aunt's xmas list was like "thick socks and a bag of nice coffee" and you were like, what a strange list wonder what her life is like maybe it's sad and then you got older and you realized she knew exactly how to Published:12/9/2018 7:33:52 PM
[Comedy] @curlycomedy If there isn’t a Mother’s Day Card that says, “Thank you for your cervix,” I don’t know what any of us are doing. Published:12/9/2018 7:03:47 PM
[Comedy] mistakeholder

Someone with a vested interest in a topic but has all the facts wrong.

A mistakeholder in a fisheries management setting cited a number of reasons why increased transparency detracted from understanding a topic.

Published:12/9/2018 2:29:45 AM
[Comedy] sassassin

The king of sass; the sass master.

That Herbert Hoover was quite the sassassin.

Published:12/8/2018 2:22:50 AM
[Comedy] First ‘Avengers: Endgame’ trailer lands — bringing viewers to the emotional brink Survivors take stock of the Thanos "snap" in 2018's biggest film on the planet. Published:12/7/2018 8:47:47 AM
[Comedy] The ‘Santa Clause’

The legal agreement which allows Santa Claus to enter people’s home and not be prosecuted for (breaking and entering). This clause includes chimneys and magic stuff we don’t know about.

The ‘Santa Clause’ is actually a legal agreement that has been understood in a ‘quid pro quo’ context; wherein Santa is welcomed for many reasons... but it’s really the presents and his cool outfit!

Published:12/7/2018 2:19:06 AM
[Comedy] Can you name the first woman hired as a Post reporter? Here’s a pioneer’s tale. As The Washington Post turns 141, we shed light on another first. Published:12/6/2018 2:43:41 PM
[Comedy] Disney dominates Golden Globes animation — again — but ‘Spider-Man’ lands as a strong wild card Nominees "Incredibles 2" and "Ralph Breaks the Internet" have a Golden Globes pedigree, to boot. Published:12/6/2018 12:18:35 PM
[Comedy] ‘Black Panther’ earns Marvel Studios its first Golden Globe nomination The billion dollar superhero hit was nominated for best drama. Published:12/6/2018 11:43:19 AM
[Comedy] jooks

To Rob somebody, to steal from somebody

he caught a jooks on that nigga yesterday for his marmot

Published:12/6/2018 2:11:12 AM
[Comedy] Four touching cartoons that bid farewell to President George H.W. Bush Here's how some editorial cartoonists are somberly paying tribute to the man, Published:12/5/2018 11:07:59 AM
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