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[Comedy] puppy pile

A large pile of people of mixed sexes, cuddling and or heavy petting each other, usually with clothes on, but sometimes without. Not an orgy, usually done only by people who love and/or trust each other. Not always sexual, sometimes just a physical expression of love or endearment amongst multiple participants.

Originates from the carefree innocent love and romping play that puppies indulge in before they "know better."

So Sam and Lisa were in the corner cuddling when Sarah, Mike, John, and Tanya all joined in and it turned into a real puppy pile.

Published:12/11/2019 2:08:00 AM
[Comedy] @ohJuliatweets My dad is drinking a to-go cup of clam chowder while driving like it’s a latte I am horrified and folks I’m back in Massachusetts Published:12/10/2019 12:06:16 PM
[Comedy] Rest Easy

Rest in peace meaning gone to soon

Rest easy Speaker Knockerz gone to soon

Published:12/10/2019 2:32:10 AM
[Comedy] urban dictionaried it

What your mother did to find out what you meant.

I had to ask Jackie what FOMO meant.
I just urban dictionaried it.

Published:12/9/2019 2:27:22 AM
[Comedy] My boi

A great friend but you want to sound cool or you don't want to say his name. So you just yell that my boi, it also has become popular and many YouTubers have shirts that have that's my boi printed on it.

Guy 1: "That my boi "

Guy 2: "You already know"

"What that guy's name again," thinks guy 1

"His name is so long Iand hard to pronounce and I am never, trying to say it again," thinks guy 2.

Published:12/8/2019 2:22:01 AM
[Comedy] catstep

A recent sub-genre branch off of filthstep, with a more aggressive style and typically softer notes. People group some Monstercat songs into this genre, as there is "cat" in their name.

Have you heard that new catstep tune released a little while ago?

Published:12/7/2019 2:16:36 AM
[Comedy] How cartoonists are satirizing the Trump impeachment hearings to ‘keep us sane’ Pulitzer-winning cartoonists use humor to peer behind all the political posturing. Published:12/6/2019 9:40:07 AM
[Comedy] Coercion

A lame way to get people or a person to side with you hence, be their bitch.

Rich people tend to use coercion to change unknowing peoples opinion to be their friend. Actually all they are doing is using others.

Published:12/6/2019 2:08:08 AM
[Comedy] Bribe

Anything given or serving to persuade or induce.

Corporations are shelling out huge bribes to politicians in the form of 'campaign financing,' however, calling a bribe by any other name is still a bribe.

Published:12/5/2019 2:32:49 AM
[Comedy] Peen

1. Derivitive of the word penis.

There was an intoxicated man dancing on the train with no pants on, his peen was flopping around everywhere!

Published:12/4/2019 2:26:24 AM
[Comedy] Extra Large

The best size on ANYTHING. Bigger is better.

Extra Large is the best size imaginable. Bigger is better. If you have extra large clothing, you’re going to get a lot of attraction.

Published:12/3/2019 2:22:33 AM
[Comedy] @mimithemama a girl from my due date group on fb is having a c-section on december 25th and wants to name her daughter “krissmiss dae”... she asked for opinions or other holiday name ideas and i suggested noelle or ivy... and she replied “eh idk those are kinda w Published:12/2/2019 11:47:37 AM
[Comedy] cyber

sex online

i lost my virginity by cybering!

Published:12/2/2019 2:14:45 AM
[Comedy] @Eden_Eats Nothing makes me more drunk with millennial power than helping boomers turn off the flashlight on their phone. Published:11/26/2019 10:12:17 AM
[Comedy] dance on the blacktop

To get stabbed, shanked or to stab someone (mostly referred in prison).

Im about to dance on the blacktop.
That boy got danced on the blacktop.

Published:11/20/2019 2:03:17 AM
[Comedy] @CornOnTheGoblin [whispers to guy sitting next to me in church] are you gonna finish your body of christ Published:11/19/2019 6:29:11 AM
[Comedy] Buddyfucker

One who will do anything to further his own personal interests without regard for the impact his actions will have on the interests of his "friends" or colleagues. Buddyfuckers cannot be trusted to "do the right thing" and have no regard for abstract principles such as ethics or morals.
This title is used frequently in the U.S. Naval Aviation community. When speaking discreetly, Aviators may say "buddy is only half of a word."

I can't believe Brad tried to steal my job just so he could get a bonus; he is such a buddyfucker!

I can't believe Brad tried to steal my job just so he could get a bonus; to him, buddy is only half of a word.

Published:11/19/2019 2:27:01 AM
[Comedy] @leafyIeah millenials b like: terrible service. 5 stars and 20% tip so this idiot can pay their bills Published:11/18/2019 8:23:12 AM
[Comedy] dry season

As opposed to "wet season" Aperiod of sexual drought

No sex for quite some time.

Published:11/18/2019 2:21:42 AM
[Comedy] @holy_schnitt 10:30pm on friday night absolutely posted in bed with a candle lit I rly truly envy 14th century bitches who died long before they reached 23 I am so tired Published:11/17/2019 5:15:45 AM
[Comedy] Throuple

A threesome couple

Betty, Carol and and Carl were so in love, they are such a lovely throuple.

Published:11/17/2019 2:15:06 AM
[Comedy] How political cartoonists deal — and thrive — with live coverage of the impeachment hearings Pulitzer-winning editorial artists aim to find deadline satire in the televised inquiry. Published:11/14/2019 1:36:37 PM
[Comedy] ‘Far Sector’ introduces DC’s newest Green Lantern in an Afro-futuristic murder mystery Written by N.K. Jemisin and illustrated by Jamal Campbell, the comic book's superhero is breaking barriers in secret. Published:11/13/2019 4:50:36 PM
[Comedy] @Lisabug74 *smells jar of peanut butter like a wine connoisseur* Published:11/12/2019 5:16:49 AM
[Comedy] Do it for the vine

When someone has a sort of special talent or party trick, and you ask them to do it so you can capture it on camera.

Person 1: I can’t do it right now, man.
Person 2: Come on dude, do it for the vine!

Published:11/11/2019 2:40:18 AM
[Comedy] Dead that tune

To stop the constant chatting that makes no sense or lower your tone. It doesn’t have to relate to music.

You need to dead that tune

Published:11/10/2019 2:35:05 AM
[Comedy] Fathernal Twins

Two Children born in the same Year with the Same Father but Different Mothers.

Guy: Hey , I didn't know you had a twin.
Friend: Yea, we're Fathernal twins, we're born in

the same year with same Dad,

different Moms.
GUY: What, like on ya Father's Side!?
Friend: You could say that.....poppa was a playa!

Published:11/9/2019 4:01:52 PM
[Comedy] ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ showed us how to get along with people we don’t understand Dr. Seuss used only 50 words to write the book. Now it's an entire Netflix TV series. Published:11/9/2019 4:01:52 PM
[Comedy] 5 AM

A sign that it's time to go to bed. Goodnight.

Ah, jeez, 5 AM already? I'm outta here.

Published:11/8/2019 8:48:57 PM
[Comedy] Fucky Wucky

The act of making a really big mistake, fucking up big time

Uwu we're sowwy, we made a Fucky Wucky, oopsie~

Published:11/7/2019 2:19:48 AM
[Comedy] @MarcSnetiker Imagine an e-mail finding you well Published:11/7/2019 1:18:13 AM
[Comedy] Superman’s secret identity won’t be secret any more Clark Kent won't be needed those non-prescription glasses. Published:11/6/2019 10:15:52 AM
[Comedy] left and right

A colorful term used in place of "everywhere", "all around", "all over" or "a plethora"; i.e. a lot.

I went fishing yesterday and nailled bass left and right.

Last night there were hotties in the club left and right.

I was in a highway pile up and was hit left and right.

We had a picnic on the beach and the seagulls were swarming us left and right.

Published:11/6/2019 2:42:02 AM
[Comedy] Anakin’s Paradox

When the action of one’s doing to prevent something ends up being the catalyst for its occurrence. For example, if I set out to save a fish, and my attempt to save the fish ends up getting the fish killed, then this is Anakin’s Paradox.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith really showcases Anakin’s Paradox.

Published:11/5/2019 2:04:03 AM
[Comedy] bust a grumpy

To have to go number 2.
To poop.
To make naughty water.

Brennen had to go bust a grumpy, becuase he'd tried to move and built up enough bodily waste to kill an elephant.

Published:11/2/2019 2:15:05 AM
[Comedy] Eye-catching cartoons that show Pelosi gaining the upper hand on impeachment Are U.S. cartoonists less divided than Americans over impeachment? Published:11/1/2019 10:41:25 AM
[Comedy] November 1

National "Invent Your Own Dumbass Holiday on Urban Dictionary Day"

Hey everybody, it's November 1! Let's see what dumbass holiday the Urban Dictionary people post as their Word of the Day for November 1 today!

Published:11/1/2019 2:41:16 AM
[Comedy] @PayMeInTacos Rent should be due every 90 days, every 30 is dramatic. Let’s riot. Published:10/31/2019 10:46:57 AM
[Comedy] He wrote a graphic novel about losing his home to a wildfire. Now Kincade is threatening it again. Eisner-winning cartoonist Brian Fies faces down another fire two years after losing his Northern California home. "I'm mostly numb," he says. Published:10/31/2019 10:46:57 AM
[Comedy] halloween belly

An upset stomach due to the consumption of large quantities of something sweet.

Dude! I had one to many smirnoff ice. I got the halloween belly now.

Published:10/31/2019 10:46:56 AM
[Comedy] October 30

National give a girl your sweatshirt day. It’s the day before halloween and probably will be cold so be a bro and give it to them

Mary is cold and it’s October 30 you better have brought an extra sweatshirt because you have to give it to her.

Published:10/30/2019 5:51:57 AM
[Comedy] October 29

confess to your crush day !
shoot your shot good luck <33

girl : hey Kai since it’s October 29 what better time to say this
boy : say what ?
girl : I like you
boy : oh I didn’t know you felt the same way , I like you too

Published:10/29/2019 2:52:07 AM
[Comedy] October 27

October 27 is national tell your crush you have feelings for them day.

Girl 1: today is October 27 should I tell my crush I like him?
Girl 2: yes totally, today is the day!

Published:10/27/2019 2:42:27 AM
[Comedy] Five great comics that Martin Scorsese might actually enjoy adapting into ‘cinema’ The director of "The Irishman" has criticized "comic book movies," but these titles show that such adaptations might be a perfect fit for him. Published:10/25/2019 6:30:30 AM
[Comedy] @aparnapkin any time i update my phone or computer, it feels like we’re on a couples’ retreat & have to relearn how to love each other again Published:10/24/2019 5:52:16 AM
[Comedy] october 24

National no clothes day. Don’t wear anything, even if your outside.

Person 1: what are you wearing tomorrow?
Person 2: nothing! It’s October 24th!

Published:10/24/2019 2:21:19 AM
[Comedy] October 23

The birthday of the bhaddest chick you will ever meet. Wife that girl up she a dime.

That girl Jordan’s bday is october 23

Published:10/23/2019 2:46:46 AM
[Comedy] October 22

National Hug and hold hands day with yo BF or GF

Boy: it's October 22
Girl: ok
Boy: give me your hand
*holds hand*
Girl: Aww
*blushes*
*and give her a hug*

Published:10/22/2019 2:09:24 AM
[Comedy] October 21

National toe sucking day

Bro it’s October 21st let’s do suck some toes

Published:10/21/2019 2:33:00 AM
[Comedy] October 20

National skip school/ work day. On this day you can skip whatever you like and not get in trouble for it

Person 1: Hey tomorrow is October 20th you know what that means...

Person 2: yep, I’ll be sleeping all day cause I’m skipping everything

Published:10/20/2019 2:30:36 AM
[Comedy] October 19

National confess your love day ;) The only day you can confess your feelings to that one person. Don’t be shy ??

On October 19 my life changed forever...Nicole really did have a fat crush on me.

Published:10/19/2019 4:51:29 AM
[Comedy] October 18

A day where you will either:

Kiss your crush/bf/gf
Slap someone’s ass
Ask your crush out
All of the above

On October 18 watch out for all of the following.

Published:10/18/2019 2:16:06 AM
[Comedy] @clhubes All I want for my birthday is my husband to take me to a remote tropical island where we can lie on the beach for 2 days completely uninterrupted ...and then on the third day a mysterious heiress is murdered in the lobby and oh no all the guests are Published:10/17/2019 8:40:37 AM
[Comedy] october 17

national girl hug a boy day ,, girls get to hug any boy they want :)

"Nation Girl Hug a Boy day is October 17!"

Published:10/17/2019 2:07:45 AM
[Comedy] snopes

This word can be used as a verb to indicate checking the validity of a suspect story. It is derived from the online urban legend reference site: www.snopes.com.

That sounds fake. You should snopes it.

Also

She told me a story about a friend of a sorority sister who had a huge pimple that eventually exploded hundreds of baby spiders on her face, but I snopesed it, and that story is just an urban legend.

Published:10/16/2019 2:05:12 AM
[Comedy] @cavaticat me: I’m hungry fridge: great news, I’m full of foods you selected me: no, not like that Published:10/15/2019 4:29:26 AM
[Comedy] hell joint

A joint that is wrapped with bible page/pages

Jake: Look at this joint bro
Jack: Woah bro is that a hell joint

Jake: Yeah Bro
Jack: Dude your going to hell!

5mins in
Jake: Give it here
Jack: One sec let me just get to this paragrapgh

Published:10/15/2019 2:27:03 AM
[Comedy] @MavenofHonor It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when you’re looking at your phone next to someone who’s sleeping, you will inadvertently click on a video Published:10/14/2019 5:51:46 AM
[Comedy] trumpian treasure trove

The recently released texts exchanged between the US government and the Ukrainian representative that exposes government-backed extortionists doing their high-powered criminal thing.

It’s a trumpian treasure trove that will lead straight to draining the US government swamp!

Published:10/14/2019 2:20:44 AM
[Comedy] ‘Concrete Genie’: A kid’s game about the agonies of bullying and the joys of art The game's appreciation for creativity and off-beat gameplay make it easy to recommend to parents looking for something for elementary or middle school kids. Published:10/13/2019 11:19:51 AM
[Comedy] LMFNO

An abbreviated form for the phrase, “Laughing My Fucking Nipples Off.” Its purpose is to create a more expressive illustration of great laughter or amusement, similar to LMFAO (which means, "Laughing My Fucking Ass Off.") The term is commonly used on the Internet, online and conversations across gaming/chat rooms or texting.

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?
Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.
Girl: LMFNO!

Published:10/13/2019 2:16:19 AM
[Comedy] blyat

Fuck in Russian

(Around children)
Me: (stubs toe) Blyat!
Child: what does blyat mean?
Me: Oh it’s just a word I made up whenever I’m in pain

Published:10/12/2019 2:09:54 AM
[Comedy] Kislyaknesia

A partial or total loss of memory that mysteriously occurs after people associated with the Trump administration have meetings with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak, Ukrainian oligarch and politician, Viktor Medvedchuk, Chairman of Russian state-run bank VEB, Sergey Gorkov or anyone else with ties to Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions appeared to be suffering from Kislyaknesia by saying 35 times before the Senate Intelligence Committee either "I don't recall", "I don't recollect", "I don't remember" or "I have no recollection" when asked if he met with any Russian officials or Russian nationals before January 20th.

Before his memory miraculously returned Michael Flynn claimed he had Kislyaknesia when questioned about his contact with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak.

Published:10/11/2019 2:36:04 AM
[Comedy] Difficult difficult lemon difficult

The awkwardly worded antonym to 'Easy peasy lemon squeezy' meant to express that something was very difficultly done.

"That claims process was difficult difficult lemon difficult"

Published:10/10/2019 2:28:58 AM
[Comedy] @AbbyHasIssues I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 15 minutes over time. Published:10/9/2019 8:52:30 AM
[Comedy] I’m thinkin’ uh, fuck that

When someone asks you to do something and you don’t want to do it, you say this phrase.

You goin’ golfing er what?

Nah, I’m thinkin’ uh, fuck that.

Published:10/9/2019 2:21:11 AM
[Comedy] ‘Joker’s’ huge box office weekend shows the appeal of edgy comic-book movies The Joaquin Phoenix film had the biggest domestic October opening ever. Published:10/7/2019 11:12:59 AM
[Comedy] secure the bag

An expression use to describe the act of taking/obtaining advantage of the situation and keep something of value.

1. Play your cards right and secure the bag.
2. Be an intern and work full-time hours. That's how you secure the bag.
3. I cut him/her off but I secured the bag.
4. Friend 1: He/she said he/she wants to make it up to me.

Friend 2: There's your chance to secure the bag.

Published:10/7/2019 2:09:41 AM
[Comedy] Ruby Rose knows Batwoman is a step forward for LGBTQ superheroes — but she’s more interested in how she saves the day The Australian actress stars as Gotham City's newest caped crusader on the CW. Published:10/6/2019 8:05:25 AM
[Comedy] voice crack

when you or someone talks and their voice makes a funny noise all of a sudden

comes from mostly when youre in puberty

fat: oh ya that was hella tight
chubby: yeah when he went up the drive-way and then *h00weeeee3* did that cool trick
extralarge: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH VOICE CRACK

Published:10/5/2019 2:27:44 AM
[Comedy] ’Neo Cab’: Video game noir at its best Mercurial characters? Check. Moral compromises? Check. Emotionally nuanced endings? Check. Published:10/4/2019 8:03:09 AM
[Comedy] Stream sniping

Stream sniping is when someone watches your stream to get an upper hand to essentially cheat against you in a game. For example, they could find your position on an open-world map, find out where your base is, or even find out when you're low on health, so they can ambush you. It sucks. The deveopers of Rust, Facepunch Studios... are (to my knowledge), the first game developers to build a preventative measure against it into their game. They call it Streamer Mode.

Hey, its Edward Longface again! Ahhhh!!! Why did he shoot at me?! He probably knew my plan. He must be stream sniping!

Published:10/4/2019 2:21:15 AM
[Comedy] @samlymatters As an open mic comic I spent so much time fantasizing about “shutting down a heckler” & tonight during my set a guy finally yelled “when does the comedy start?!” & I couldn’t think of anything clever so I just said “about an hour ago you fuck Published:10/3/2019 8:47:30 AM
[Comedy] Weinsteined

Forced into a non-consensual act for fear of losing your career. Often involving erotic massage in a hotel room with a media mogul

She refused to be weinsteined so her career went down the tubes

Published:10/3/2019 2:15:27 AM
[Comedy] Our definitive ranking of the Jokers, from Jack Nicholson to Joaquin Phoenix As the new "Joker" movie comes out this week, here's how Phoenix compares to Heath Ledger, Jared Leto and the rest. Published:10/2/2019 10:50:27 AM
[Comedy] that’s a mood

when someone does something (normally to mimic another) and is very relatable

Jeff: *falls asleep in class*
Lucy: “That’s a mood!”

Published:10/2/2019 2:11:21 AM
[Comedy] heart eyes

when you stare at someone fondly and people who doesnt know your relationship can tell that you are attracted to her/him

random person: ah, are you two dating?
jim: no, why do you ask that?
random person: because you were looking at her with heart eyes!

Published:10/1/2019 2:36:07 AM
[Comedy] No-J

someone who didn't do it, but is being pronounced guilty anyway. He is the opposite of OJ, who did it, but got off scott free.

That No-J was convicted of killing his family. But I think someone just snuck in and killed them while he slept. If you just killed your family, could you just go back to sleep?
-----
Jane needs to let her No-J boyfriend off the hook. Just because he has a hot co-worker doesn't mean they're doing it.

Published:9/30/2019 2:28:28 AM
[Comedy] they/them

they/them are pronouns typically used for people who identify as gender-nuetral

they go by they/them pronouns

oh Alex? they're over there

Published:9/29/2019 2:29:04 AM
[Comedy] Bronoun

Words used by bros to replace standard noun forms. Such as "Bro", "Dude", "Man", "Guy", and occasionally "Cuz".

"Bro, try this PJ"
"Bro, I love you Man"
"Dude was all over that shit"
"Guy, want some food Bro?"

All of these are Bronouns.

Published:9/28/2019 2:17:46 AM
[Comedy] @gothshakira every day men leave their homes with no bag, no water bottle, no lip balm, no hand sanitizer, no extra layer in case they get cold, just keys and a wallet shoved into their pocket. chaotic and reckless Published:9/27/2019 4:15:26 PM
[Comedy] sapiophobic

Someone who is scared of intelligent people, perhaps because they are stupid.

Me: Dude check out what this chick wrote in her tinder bio!

Friend: 'I'm sapiophobic'

What the f*ck is that!

Published:9/27/2019 2:11:02 AM
[Comedy] Kevin Feige could be the biggest thing to happen to Star Wars since Darth Vader The Marvel Studios mastermind is about to enter a galaxy that is far, far away. Published:9/26/2019 11:07:42 AM
[Comedy] the life

A catch-all term used to refer to life as a criminal; "the life" outside of the law.

"You're really thinking about quitting?"
"The life? Most definitely."

Vincent to Jules in Pulp Fiction

Published:9/26/2019 2:32:50 AM
[Comedy] @LizHackett Doing a low-budget but equally spiritually fulfilling version of Eat, Pray, Love entitled Gas Station, CVS, Return A Dress To Macy's. Published:9/25/2019 12:03:36 PM
[Comedy] feed him

To shoot , pull up , or kill someone

I don’t like the way he thinks he runs the streets , Ima feed him .

Published:9/25/2019 2:27:40 AM
[Comedy] dry snitching

Intentionally getting someone in trouble by outting something they've done wrong while trying to keep it sly.

*You return to work from lunch with the boss right there*
Coworker to you: "I didn't know we had two hour lunches!"
You later: ??

Dry snitching.

Published:9/24/2019 2:59:08 AM
[Comedy] Full send

V. 100% commitment to doing some heinous shit. Commonly used among skiiers/snowboarders.

I'm about to hit this cliff full send bro. Is the camera rolling?

Published:9/23/2019 7:31:33 AM
[Comedy] Sunday scaries

The feeling of dread knowing that Monday is going to be rough.

I'm suffering from Sunday scaries!

Published:9/22/2019 2:09:16 AM
[Comedy] Identity Politics

A political dog whistle term used by white people and white allies when they get called out on their white supremacist acts.

Yhe Left engages the Black vote what a disgusting display of “identity politics.”

Published:9/21/2019 2:32:32 AM
[Comedy] @ayoedebiri might fuck around and get white and conventionally attractive and brand my mental breakdowns as monetizable content and create a cult of personality around me who will call it art to my face so much that I lose sense of reality Published:9/20/2019 1:59:41 PM
[Comedy] @christineexists tinder but it’s cats. everyone makes their cat a profile. the swiping doesn’t matter. U just. Look at cats and their interests and then look at MORE CATS Published:9/20/2019 1:33:17 PM
[Comedy] ’The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening’: A first-class makeover for a classic game It's Zelda the way you’d like to remember it. Published:9/20/2019 8:27:24 AM
[Comedy] nothing is sacred

A phrase commonly used when something respectable is fucked up, or something innocent has been made disgusting.

"Apparently people make porn of the new Sonic movie"
"Damn, nothing is sacred."

Published:9/19/2019 2:19:55 AM
[Comedy] From ‘The Boondocks’ to ‘The Far Side,’ beloved ’90s comics are springing back to life "The Boondocks" will be "reimagined" and "The Far Side" teases its return. Published:9/18/2019 3:18:23 PM
[Comedy] mids

mid-grade marijuana

Reid said he's got some mids, but im tryin to get some nuggs.

Published:9/18/2019 2:15:45 AM
[Comedy] On the arm

Getting something free of charge. Police lingo for free.

Dunkin Donuts girl: That will be $1.56 for that coffee officer.

Police Officer: You must be new here. This ones on the arm.

Published:9/17/2019 2:14:32 AM
[Comedy] Trumpspeak

A series of 2 or more sentences devoid of any real substance or insight, in which all subsequent sentences are just a rephrasing of the first.

When he said, "I am very highly educated. I know words. I have the best words." Is the typical trumpspeak i hear every time he talks.

"I don't hate mexicans. I love mexicans. I employ thousands of mexicans and by the way mexicans love me. They respect me. Everyone loves me."

Published:9/16/2019 2:33:23 AM
[Comedy] Headcanon

(also written as "head canon," but it's really one word.)

An idea, belief, or aspect of a story that is not mentioned in the media itself, but is accepted by either the media consumer themselves or the fandom in general. If it is confirmed by the creator of the story, it becomes canon.

In Homestuck , a popular webcomic , many suspect the headcanon that the trolls are carnivores, because of their natural homicidal tendencies and sharp teeth. It's never explicitly stated in the comic that this is true, but it'd be kind of dumb to assume they're a race known for salads and ice cream sundaes.

Published:9/15/2019 2:24:50 AM
[Comedy] has me dead

Something that kills you inside and stresses you out

That movie has me dead it was so bad

Published:9/14/2019 2:18:42 AM
[Comedy] Lois Lane is now a White House reporter — and an ‘enemy of the people’ The top reporter in comics has been updated for the Trump era, and gets her press pass revoked. Published:9/13/2019 6:12:57 AM
[Comedy] Trypophobia

A fear of holes. However, be warned that if you google this word unknowingly, you will encounter images of holes in human skin, often with something in them.

So I googled trypophobia one day, wondering what all the hype was. Now I have it.

Published:9/13/2019 2:11:03 AM
[Comedy] @KatieVallely00 Every girl who peaked in high school fucking loves posting a picture on Instagram of their khaki wearing boyfriend (who also looks like their dad) holding a baby (likely a niece/nephew) with the caption “my heart is so full”. Published:9/12/2019 8:38:14 AM
[Comedy] Raina Telgemeier became a hero to millions of readers by showing how uncomfortable growing up can be The graphic novelist has sold millions by baring her soul and tapping into a largely-overlooked female comics readership. Published:9/12/2019 7:06:08 AM
[Comedy] Pussy ass bitch

Huge coward. Piece of shit that doesn’t accept any responsibility. Takes credit for for an economy that Obama revived. Openly racist. Liar

“The President of the United States is a pussy ass bitch. “

Published:9/12/2019 2:08:40 AM
[Comedy] Thats that on that

most of the time used at the end of a persons argument

peaches: "i got an itchy coochie and thats that on that

Published:9/11/2019 2:31:02 AM
[Comedy] Sharpiegate

A Twitter trend that started after Donald Trump falsely claimed that Hurricane Dorian was going to strike Alabama (their local weather service told him otherwise). Despite the evidence of being proven wrong, Trump held a press conference in the Oval Office with a National Weather Service map apparently doctored with a cone shape displayed on parts of Alabama in a black marker.

It's embarrassing, possibly illegal and an especially strong indicator on just how insecure the President is. Instead of manning up and admitting that he made boo-boo, he prefers to whine about how "fake news" is being mean to him.

Sharpiegate makes me long for a a real leader

Published:9/10/2019 2:28:30 AM
[Comedy] @epsteinbrain girls born after 1938 don't know how to cook. all they know is doo wop, talk on rotary phone, fuck the milkman, vacuum barred out and lie Published:9/7/2019 1:39:22 PM
[Comedy] womble

idiot, dolt or fool, a person that wastes other people's time by endless waffling about one thing or another.Someone that interrupts a constructive conversation with a piece of irrelevant or unrelated information, often a personal story or anecdote, that doesn't apply at all. In the work environment this person is generally over paid and always under delivers due to their tendency to waste their own and everyone else's time.

That person is a fucking womble.

I wish they would stop wombling and get on with it.

Dont include them in the meeting if they are just going to womble on and on about complete bullshit

Published:9/7/2019 2:09:09 AM
[Comedy] big girl's blouse

British slang term for a wimpy, emasculated and weak man. In particular, one who complains immoderately.

Ya big girl's blouse! Grow a pair why don't ya.

Published:9/6/2019 2:29:22 AM
[Comedy] Kraft Dinner

What they call Macaroni & Cheese in Canada. The box actually says "Kraft Dinner" where it would normally say "Macaroni & Cheese". In Canada they accept this as perfectly normal.

"Kraft" is, of course, the company that makes the product and "Dinner" is what we will eat when it is done cooking. Be sure to prepare it with milk in a bag.

Even though Macaroni & Cheese is the all-American convenience food product, Canada consumes, per capita, more Kraft Dinner than the United States!

Published:9/5/2019 2:28:15 AM
[Comedy] The legendary editor who discovered ‘Cathy’ and ‘The Boondocks’ — and guided ‘Doonesbury’ Says Garry Trudeau, “Lee made wildly insecure artists feel supported and safe and empowered to take creative risks.” Published:9/4/2019 4:21:05 PM
[Comedy] Nuclear take

the most extreme version of a hot take. something that almost nobody except the most insane people would ever agree with

"The man was arguing for pedophilia being legal. This isn't even a hot take anymore, it's a god damn nuclear take"

Published:9/4/2019 2:17:49 AM
[Comedy] duhmerican

An utterly foolish or senseless, often racist person who comes from the United States and knows nothing about the rest of the world. Generally a Trump loving, NRA fanboy, complete moron.

On the news today there were hundreds of duhmericans at the Trump rally spewing their hate and ignorance.

Published:9/3/2019 2:13:27 AM
[Comedy] @Raptors__ Dude Rorschach is my favourite superhero i just wish his mask didnt have a picture of my parents fighting on it Published:9/2/2019 12:09:54 PM
[Comedy] lowkey a goddess

BEYONCE

beyonce is lowkey a goddess
Honey its just the queen herself

Published:9/2/2019 2:04:36 AM
[Comedy] @lifeattiffanys My kid just called romaine lettuce “gross kale” so the next batch of humans is coming along nicely, thanks for asking. Published:9/1/2019 9:31:07 AM
[Comedy] @MommaUnfiltered “I’m not your maid” I say under my breath as I walk around cleaning up after everyone. Published:8/31/2019 5:57:11 PM
[Comedy] vsco girl

the tumblr girls of 2019, you’ll probably catch them wearing a scrunchie, tube top, puka shell necklace, white vans or birkenstocks and don’t forget the hydroflask to finish off the look

Look at her instagram feed she’s such a vsco girl

Published:8/31/2019 2:23:57 AM
[Comedy] hit dem folks

A new dance when you raise your hand over your head and lift your leg

While daquan was hitting the whip I was killing the hit dem folks

Published:8/30/2019 2:20:16 AM
[Comedy] ‘Control’: A space-warping science fiction game with much to like but not a lot to love 'Control' is a weird game that would have benefited from being a lot weirder. Published:8/29/2019 12:43:22 PM
[Comedy] add oil

A Chinese expression of encouragement, often heard during sporting events or right before exams.

Chinese: ??
Mandarin: Jia1 You2
Cantonese: Ga1 Yau4

P1: I'm so screwed for this final. I haven't studied all semester.
P2: You'll do fine. Add oil!

or

P1: (participating in a sporting event)
P2: GA1 YAU4! GA1 YAU4!

Published:8/29/2019 2:10:57 AM
[Comedy] @TheRealSassy1 The fact that Head and Shoulders doesn't have a body wash called 'Knees and Toes' disappoints me. Published:8/28/2019 5:41:54 PM
[Comedy] ‘Black Panther II’: Five things we want to see in the 2022 sequel Will the Black Panther face off against one of Marvel’s oldest characters? Published:8/27/2019 11:29:55 AM
[Comedy] @Zaius13 The most embarrassing part about farting myself awake was that it was the most interesting aspect of my PowerPoint presentation. Published:8/24/2019 10:15:31 AM
[Comedy] broship

A non-romantic pairing of two (or more) characters together. It focuses on the their relationship as friends, or occasionally as real blood-related brothers.

May be written as: "bro ship", "broship" or "bro!ship"

Relatable to: BrOTP

Ace, Luffy, and Sabo have the best bro!ship ever!
I love Edward and Al, they're my number one broship.
Yep, I bro!ship those two.

Published:8/24/2019 2:10:15 AM
[Comedy] @pant_leg you’re telling me a childhood made this trauma??? Published:8/23/2019 10:11:04 PM
[Comedy] Shadowban

A Shadowban is an excuse trolls and sad people use to justify why no one bothers to read, reply or like the content that they post online. They assume that it must be because their content is hidden from public view, in fact they're just boring.

I know for sure I've been shadowbanned because hardly anyone comments or likes my posts on Twitter. It's definitely a shadowban conspiracy because I know, I'm like, genius, and everyone would be amazed by my super-radical views.

Published:8/23/2019 2:36:19 AM
[Comedy] @copymama A woman at the grocery store stopped me and asked “Do you know where the cheese is?” and it was the only time in my life that I confidently gave directions. Published:8/22/2019 8:00:37 AM
[Comedy] Goldfishing

When someone is so fucked up, they head in one direction with a goal in mind but half-way there, forget that goal and wander off in a random direction with or without another goal in mind. Term comes from goldfish in an aquarium acting the same way due to their seconds-long memory.

He was so fucked up on mushrooms, he spent the whole night goldfishing around his apartment and never made it out to meet us.

We wasted a few hours goldfishing around camp before we even realized that we missed the burn.

Published:8/22/2019 2:27:35 AM
[Comedy] tap water

Tap water is pretty much the same as bottled water, only you'll save a shitload of money and, believe it or not, you will be healthier drinking tap water over bottled water (probably because bottled water has chemicals in it.) It also tastes better (in my opinion), and the only reason why people don't like it is because you need to refrigerate it for a while for it to be cold.

tap water

Published:8/21/2019 2:21:01 AM
[Comedy] and i oop-

When something or someone does something that catches you off guard or catches your attention. Can be a response to a very bold statement or action or also when somone is so good looking that you are taken back by their looks. Comes from a popular meme video where someone says it and makes a suprised face.

Clarissa: *says bold statement*
Vivian: and I oop-

Published:8/20/2019 2:18:00 AM
[Comedy] Published:8/18/2019 10:07:41 AM
[Comedy] well up

(verb) welled up, welling up

To begin to form tears. The incipient and ofttimes unfinished stage of crying; water begins to accumulate within the eyes, without necessarily doing so in such abundance as to form rolling tears.

Man, I watched your video and just fuckin' welled up. And I do not well up for nothing.

Published:8/18/2019 2:04:02 AM
[Comedy] Crick

A common Southernism refering to a pain, spasm, or strain in a joint such as a neck, back, or knee.

I have a crick in my neck.

Published:8/17/2019 2:35:47 AM
[Comedy] @chrisfarren choosing the perfect podcast to listen to for the 20 second walk taking the trash out so i don’t accidentally exist in silence for a single moment of my life Published:8/16/2019 5:02:51 AM
[Comedy] fuck-you friday

A Friday on which you refuse all requests and deny all favors, instead cursing out the person who is asking.

You: Hey self, it's another Fuck-You Friday.

Jim: (enters) Can you help me with this report?

You: Not today pal. Fuck you.

Published:8/16/2019 2:20:11 AM
[Comedy] How Woodstock — the bird — was inspired by the 1969 music festival Charles Schulz named Snoopy's yellow friend in 1970, the summer after the festival staged 50 years ago this week. Published:8/15/2019 10:17:30 AM
[Comedy] @LizHackett Do people who get eight hours of sleep every night not know about spending that time staring at a ceiling and imagining worst case scenarios? Published:8/15/2019 3:22:42 AM
[Comedy] a thing

It's the stage in middle/high school where you aren't quite dating yet, but you've both established that you like each other. It's exclusive but not completely yet.

"Are you dating Stacy?" "No but we have a thing"

Published:8/15/2019 2:15:28 AM
[Comedy] New York Comic Con’s Harvey Award nominations show streaming services gaining ground Netflix’s “The Umbrella Academy” and “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina,” Amazon’s “The Boys” and DC Universe’s “Doom Patrol” are among the nominees. Published:8/14/2019 11:14:20 AM
[Comedy] Misomaniac

Noun (Uncountable)
1-Someone who hates everything and everyone.

2-Someone who shows hatrey and contempt to everything and everyone. Feels that everything is worthless/beneath consideration.

He's such a misomaniac ,he complains about everything !
Why do you hate all my friends, are you a misomaniac ?
I discovered that I'm a misomaniac , I'm disgusted of all society.

Published:8/14/2019 2:10:28 AM
[Comedy] unemployee

Someone who recently had a job, but lost it in this depressed economic climate.

There are too many unemployees up in here.

I'm an unemployee of GM.

Published:8/13/2019 2:04:54 AM
[Comedy] run a fade

To "fade" someone is essentially the same as beating someone, be it singularly or in a group. The phrase "run a fade" is usually used during a confrontation, or if the confrontation is planned. To "run" said fade means that the belligerent parties will meet at another location to fight, or if one party is asking the other if they want the fight to start right then and there.

"I ain't even playin' with you or your boys' shit no more. You wanna run a fade or not?"

Published:8/12/2019 2:31:03 AM
[Comedy] windjammer

the agonizing scream of a trapped turd.

"Man, I was so constipated the other day ... I was letting out all kinds of windjammers left and right but couldn't close the deal in the bathroom."

Published:8/11/2019 7:24:31 AM
[Comedy] @AmySilverberg I told someone I was 30 and they said “that’s okay.” Published:8/10/2019 2:24:16 AM
[Comedy] big cap

When someone lying out they ass.

"Aye lil bruh, on my momma I got 30 racks on me right na"
"Hell naw, that's big cap"

Published:8/10/2019 2:24:13 AM
[Comedy] The story behind the fake Mad magazine and TV Guide covers in ‘Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood’ Quentin Tarantino even dreamed up the idea for Mad magazine's new parody cover. Published:8/8/2019 8:38:51 AM
[Comedy] ‘Observation’: A brilliant science fiction game that puts the player in an unfamiliar situation Rather than cast players in the role of an astronaut struggling for survival onboard a damaged space station, 'Observation' inserts players into the circuits of the AI. Published:8/7/2019 12:03:21 PM
[Comedy] @runolgarun please remember that vampire unions are the ones who fought to give you a vampire weekend Published:8/7/2019 11:32:47 AM
[Comedy] @alyssalimp A plane? Get here four hours early, let us X-ray you and bring birth certificate or we CANNOT let you board A train? Show up as we roll in bring whatever you want we’re not gonna check your ticket love you Published:8/7/2019 2:31:42 AM
[Comedy] @moooooog35 Can anyone recommend a good wine that pairs well with a teenager's shitty attitude? Published:8/4/2019 6:16:24 AM
[Comedy] number neighbor

Someone who has the same phone number as you, besides the last digit.

Greg: Hey, Karla, what's your number?

Karla: (719):558-9013

Greg: Hey! We're number neighbors! Mine's (719):588-9016.

Published:8/4/2019 2:15:29 AM
[Comedy] Settler

Within a successful, seemingly stable relationship, the settler refers to the "better half", who in essence settles with their partner. This person tends to be either more attractive, wealthier, smarter, personable or some other quality that would seemingly make their partner look inferior, to the extent that people begin to question why they would even date in the first place.

The opposite of a reacher

Looking at the Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri relationship, it is painfully clear that Janet (Ms. Jackson, if you're nasty) is a settler.

Published:8/3/2019 2:40:28 AM
[Comedy] testin' my gangsta

Checking whether I am a real street thug or just a guy doing the clothes and the talk.

First party out of jail and this little suburban Megan was testin' my gangsta, she only wanted me if I'd really done time.

Published:8/2/2019 2:29:40 AM
[Comedy] @bobvulfov (to my date after each preview at a movie) the actual film will be much longer than that Published:8/1/2019 10:26:08 AM
[Comedy] ‘Wolfenstein: Youngblood’: It’s all about your friends It's fun to play with a friend but, ultimately, it’s like going to a restaurant where you know the service is fine and you wouldn’t look for anything unusual. Published:8/1/2019 9:57:22 AM
[Comedy] G Code

The unwritten rules of the street. No snitchin, no testifying, no cooperation with law enforcement, no letting anybody punk you, show respect to earn respect, no disrespecting of the game, no hating, mind your business, hold your own, accept the consequences of your crimes, remain loyal and true, money over bitches

G code is my religion.

Published:8/1/2019 2:25:36 AM
[Comedy] genderqueer

Any position in a wide variety of gender identities, spanning the spectrum between male and female. A person who is Genderqueer is not transgendered, though the option is open to transition. Being genderqueer has no bearing on sexual identity or orientation.

Eli might have a woman's body, but ze doesn't feel like a woman or a man. Eli is genderqueer.

Published:7/31/2019 2:18:12 AM
[Comedy] primetiming

Staying up late watching TV after midnight. Usually primetiming involves watching reruns of favorite shows.

He was primetiming late last night watching reruns of Family Guy.

Published:7/30/2019 2:14:16 AM
[Comedy] love is love

It's not about the sex or gender of the person but how they treat you! So, as long as you're getting the love and affection that you need to be happy in love then it doesn't and/or shouldn't matter what gender is loving you.

Often a term used by bisexuals or those who have no issues with swinging with the same-sex as long as the loving is good!

i.e. A guy might say to another guy, "I'm just looking for someone to love me (a genderless statement) because love is love!" The sex of the person isn't the issue but how the person is treated as it pertains to being loved!

Published:7/29/2019 2:46:11 AM
[Comedy] death drop

A type of dance when a dancer dramatically falls backwards into a struck pose on the ground, usually to end a dance.

turn turn turn stop and death drop!
????

Published:7/28/2019 2:32:29 AM
[Comedy] go awf

go awf = go off . pretty much just talk your shit ????.

applesauce123 : im freaking tired of people lying on my name .

johnson6282629 : GO AWF SISSSSS !

Published:7/27/2019 2:24:54 AM
[Comedy] in my bag

the act of being in your own world; focused; being in the zone; on your grind

I be in my bag when i get in the booth.

I got an exam coming up, it's time to go in my bag and study.

Published:7/26/2019 2:19:21 AM
[Comedy] off the rip

The beginning or onset of some activity or likewise. See off the top.

Before we even left the crib dude hit us for gas off the rip.

Published:7/25/2019 2:33:25 AM
[Comedy] @samlymatters When I was in high school my guy friend asked if I watched porn and I lied and said I did and he asked what key words I usually used but I had no idea what he was talking about and thought he meant password so I was just like “Idk usually something s Published:7/24/2019 12:55:20 PM
[Comedy] spill the tea sis

When you or your friend has hot drama that needs to be told.

“sis you won’t belie what just happened..”
“ooo spill the tea sis”

Published:7/24/2019 2:27:20 AM
[Comedy] How Billy Eichner and John Oliver help save the 'Lion King’ remake from itself A "Billy on the Street" clip from 2017 foreshadows some of the saving comedic grace in the photorealistic "Lion King." Published:7/23/2019 12:19:30 PM
[Comedy] @TheCatWhisprer My 4y/o’s solution to me saying something was too expensive was “you can just go to work and get more money” if anybody needs a financial advisor. Published:7/23/2019 10:20:55 AM
[Comedy] Ricky Renuncia

Coloquial frase used by Puertoricans said to someone that should just call it quits.

“Man, my fucking work is gonna kill me.”
“Then Ricky Renuncia to it dude!”

Published:7/23/2019 2:17:58 AM
[Comedy] The five best Comic-Con trailers, from ‘Top Gun: Maverick’ to ‘Rick and Morty' Nostaglia and '80s touchstones rocked San Diego's Hall H, including some famous flyboys. Published:7/22/2019 1:44:04 PM
[Comedy] Yeet

To discard an item at a high velocity

Alex finishes his soda and proceeds to yeet his empty can into a trash bin

Alex (while throwing the can): “YEET!”

Published:7/22/2019 2:11:39 AM
[Comedy] usury

Charging an exorbitent interest rate for borrowed money. Considered a criminal act in many countries.

Chase Bank recently raised it's interest rate on credit cards to 32.24%. This is usury at its finest.

Published:7/21/2019 2:06:32 AM
[Comedy] Sco pa tu manaa

The meaning is legit from a song called Kawoula Biov by Daavi Neba and Patapaa who are Ghanaians. The phrase “sco pa tu manaa” was said by Patapaa in the song which is literally Ghanaian gibberish. It was given a meaning by twitter users “what’s on your mind” or what’s your opinion on a topic.

On twitter when an image is posted with the caption “Sco pa tu manaa” they’re asking for your opinion on the image or what’s on your mind when you see the image.

Published:7/20/2019 2:28:24 AM
[Comedy] @ledbettercarly me going to the gym two days in a row: wow can't believe i'm the fittest person alive Published:7/19/2019 11:56:13 AM
[Comedy] slay

killed it. succeeded in something amazing.

Miley's new album slayed

Published:7/19/2019 2:22:37 AM
[Comedy] @simoncholland One side of our sink has a garbage disposal. The other side is where my daughter just dumped a full bowl of cereal. Published:7/18/2019 6:20:12 AM
[Comedy] Insta baddie

A super cool person who basically famous on Instagram and is basically a bad bitch. An insta baddie rarely smiles because they are that cool. Their posts consist of mainly selfies or mirror selfies with cool sunglasses or with a drink consisting of a straw in their mouth

That girl is such an insta baddie!
Your post from yesterday is so insta baddie.

Published:7/18/2019 2:17:55 AM
[Comedy] @alicewetterlund Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me? Published:7/17/2019 8:15:53 AM
[Comedy] Area 51

A place where the military is hiding all of those spacey bois. Will shoot you on sight if you get close.

Person 1: I tried walking into Area 51
Person 2: But why though?
Person 1: To see the spacey bois
Person 2: Did you get to see them?
Person 1: No, I was almost shot.
Person 2: What the—

Published:7/17/2019 2:42:39 AM
[Comedy] Situationship

A relationship that has no label on it.. like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.

Me: Me and this guy have been talking for six months now.
Friend: Are you guys together?
Me: Its like were together but were not.. its more of a situationship that's happening.

Published:7/16/2019 2:07:37 AM
[Comedy] snatching wigs

The act of figuratively losing your hair (wig) in response to a particularly amazing or shocking information or situation, to signify that you nearly lost your shit. The imagery is that said wig a) flies through the air; b) may interfere with air traffic if a group of wigs are snatched; c) may be seen from space if reacting to really fantastic events or information. This is deadass the highest form of reaction. Antonyms include Low-key

When BigHit Entertainment dropped the comeback date for BTS with no warning, they were snatching wigs AGAIN and sent them into orbit.

When John Cena stanned kpop, he was basically snatching wigs off nearly every fandom.

At Coachella, when the shadows of Destiny's Child appeared, Queen Bey & company were snatching wigs off everyone in attendance, those watching online, and those who hadn't even seen it yet.

Published:7/15/2019 2:37:54 AM
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